Cryptonews

Hardly. BTC merely twitched upwards by 3.44% to $112,340, as if saying, “Oh, Elon, do go on,” while traders sipped tea and pretended to be impressed.

AAVE, the Beyoncé of decentralized lending (no crown, just vibes), bounced back above $230. Because nothing says “I’m back, bitches” like recovering from a selloff faster than your Wi-Fi reconnects after a Zoom call. 🚀

Well, well, well… look who’s finally entering the future. Bitget Wallet has decided that users should no longer drown in the misery of native tokens just to pay those pesky gas fees. Yes, that’s right-stablecoins are here to save the day! Now, you can pay your network fees with stablecoins. Sounds too good to be true, but it’s not. This update uses Ethereum Improvement Proposal (EIP)-we’re talking real, Ethereum-approved magic here-to reduce all that unnecessary friction. Move over, complexity! This is a crucial part of their “gas abstraction” strategy, and we love to see it.

Cash is like your grandma’s landline – still working, but mostly for emergencies and people who distrust anything that plugs in. Surveys show 12% of Brits still use paper money for “treat yo’ Self” purchases. 🛍️👵

Well, it might… if the market stops being a rollercoaster and sentiment actually improves. In October, it’s been all about that sweet spot market accumulation. But hey, who knows? 🤷‍♂️

Bitcoin’s elusive creator mined a small mountain of BTC, and according to data from Arkham Intelligence, that stash now sits at a jaw-dropping 1,096,358.30 bitcoin-currently valued at roughly $121 billion. That’s more than enough to make Nakamoto one of the wealthiest humans on the planet-if they’re even alive. 🙃

Ah, Solana. A story of power, struggle, and hesitation-kind of like a soap opera but with more charts and fewer plot twists. Trading around $180, SOL seems to be caught in a tug-of-war between the $190-$200 resistance zone and the $165-$170 support level, where the buyers seem to be lurking. In the distant horizon, $150 could be the safety net if the bottom drops out. 📉

ETH’s still the king of the hill, but BNB’s like that annoying little brother who keeps saying, “I’m almost as good as you!” 🤓 Can it really dethrone the second-biggest crypto? Let’s dive into this circus. 🎪

Oh, dear reader, behold the monstrous farce that is CoinDesk Indices, where they parade the daily follies like a bureaucratic inspector reviewing the noses of the market! Ah, what a spectacle: leaders and laggards in this CoinDesk 20 farce, each asset performing its absurd dance. 🤡