CFTC Chair Mike Selig, in a shocking twist that no one could have possibly predicted, has decided to dip his toes into the murky waters of crypto, AI, and prediction markets. Who knew the guy was so adventurous? He made this bold proclamation in a recent post on X, which is now apparently the trendy place for regulatory announcements-right next to cat memes and unsolicited hot takes.
This step is being taken because uranium prices remain significantly higher than they were a year ago, and there are worries about our ability to reliably fuel everything we need.
THORWallet’s crowning glory is its audacious marriage of traditional banking with the ever‑swinging world of decentralised finance. Imagine a non‑custodial wallet that’s so chivalrous, it offers you a pristine Swiss IBAN, a multi‑currency account, and a global payment card all in one tidy interface-because why not keep your money both sovereign and practically passport‑ready?
The order takes effect immediately. It extends California’s existing conflict-of-interest statutes directly to prediction markets, which allow users to wager real money on outcomes ranging from elections to military strikes to economic decisions.
Indeed, dear reader, BTC now dangles precariously at around $65,804, having suffered a daily loss exceeding 4%, dragging along its poor crypto companions into the abyss. Ah, CoinGlass reports with glee that over $500 million in crypto positions were liquidated in the last 24 hours-nearly 90% of these unfortunate souls were long traders! How delightfully ironic! Ethereum (ETH) has joined the somber procession, slipping about 4% to a pitiful $1,980, while Solana (SOL) and BNB decided to join the club of despair, dropping 5% and 3%, respectively!
As if pulled from the pages of a dramatic novel, onchain analysts raised the alarm in January when they discovered that GameStop had transferred its entire Bitcoin treasure to Coinbase Prime. The whispers of a sale spread like wildfire, igniting rumors and raising eyebrows. But alas! What a misunderstanding! This transfer was not a grand exit but rather a well-orchestrated play on options.
In a move that smacks of both desperation and grandeur, Tether has anointed KPMG as its auditor of choice. The firm shall scrutinize the $185 billion USDT reserves, a task so monumental it makes one’s head spin-or perhaps it is merely the absurdity of it all. This marks a departure from the company’s previous dalliance with monthly attestations, which, like a fleeting romance, offered but a glimpse into its financial soul.
Ah, the Intercontinental Exchange (ICE), those masters of the mundane, have decided to throw another $600 million into the Polymarket pot. This, after already chucking in a cool billion back in October 2025, brings their total to a staggering $2 billion. Apparently, they’re not just dipping their toes into the prediction market pool-they’re doing a cannonball. And why not? Who doesn’t love a good gamble, especially when it’s dressed up as “institutional conviction”?
Now, this “active address” business is like countin’ the number of folks dancin’ at a hoedown. It gives you a pretty good idea of how lively the party is. But in this case, the fiddle’s gone silent, and the dance floor’s lookin’ mighty empty.
Gone are the days, dear readers, when the exuberance of early March had endowed these ETFs with the vigor of a county ball. What now remains are modest flows, more akin to quiet garden strolls than grand promenades. One could almost hear the hiss of a refined socialite’s parasol as the numbers decline.