Lo, in the autumn of this year, the venerable Harvard, that paragon of pedantic wisdom, did stir the pot of pecuniary folly by doubling its bet on Bitcoin, as if the digital ledger were some modern-day grail. From a paltry $117 million to $443 million, it danced with the crypto flame, while its gold hoard … Read more
Now, I know what you’re thinking. “What makes you so certain that Bitcoin’s going to end 2025 lounging leisurely below $84,000?” Well, my friends, that modest number more than double hints that the big bad bear is lurking. He’s not after just the lithe lambies in the stock world, oh no. He’s heading for a grand and bountiful buffet across commodities too. And boy, am I here for the drama. 🎭
This “historic” milestone (their words, not ours) means Binance can now offer “secure, regulated” crypto services from Abu Dhabi. Because nothing says “trust us” like setting up shop in a desert financial hub where the only thing hotter than the market is the midday sun. ☀️
Right. So, Solana. Apparently, it’s had a little moment above $132. A ‘wave’ they\’re calling it. Honestly, sounds exhausting. Now it’s just… hovering. Like a slightly anxious hummingbird near $138. 🙄
609K HYPE vanished into the OTC abyss via Flowdesk, while 900K HYPE lounged lazily on the Spot market, waiting for the next sucker. And just when you thought the party was over, two team members casually tossed another 75K HYPE into the market blender. Cheers! 🍻 Meanwhile, one lone wolf staked 75K HYPE-probably by accident.
In a shocking plot twist, the strategy paper didn’t even mention crypto-not even a whisper, not a “maybe” or a “what if?” Just silence. Like Aunt Edna’s phone calls. 📱🔕 But hold on, folks! Did you catch Trump’s recent CBS interview? He’s still got crypto on the brain! He’s all, “We don’t want China to be the king of Bitcoin, or it’s back to the Stone Age for us!” Oh, he’s got big plans-big, shiny plans-like making sure all Bitcoin mining happens in the good ol’ USA. 🇺🇸💰
Bittensor, with its fancy “subnets” (think of them as golden tickets for AI services), is set to halve its TAO token issuance from 7,200 to 3,600 per day around December 14. 🎟️ Grayscale’s William Ogden Moore (what a mouthful!) calls it a “key milestone in the network’s maturation,” as if it’s finally growing out of its chocolate-stained overalls. 🥼
All told, in the grand seven-day saga, a hefty 94,600,421 SHIB tokens vanished into the ether-though, just to keep things interesting, the weekly burn rate tumbled a hair-raising 9.46%, perhaps contemplating its own existential crisis. Such drama! Such flair! The weekly burn dance, a true rollercoaster for the discerning hodler.
This unexpected cooldown popped up during a time already whirling with market gyrations, supplying further evidence-like a lexicological minting machine-that the general populace has been opting for a more Scrooge-like approach, these days. Oh, and did you hear? While everyone else evacuates the crypto landscape, institutions are throwing bouquets at Bitcoin like it’s the long-lost Urth McDonald’s cow 🐄🎂.
