The USPD team, after much scrambling and hand-wringing, finally admitted the bleedin’ obvious on December 5th. Don’t buy the token, they wailed! Revoke your permissions! As if a revoked permission is going to bring back a million dollars… honestly. They tell you not to buy it, that’s a good sign, isn’t it? 🙄
First in-person tango with @saylor! 🎩💃 #CryptoProm2025
Enter Maxim Oreshkin, Russia’s economic wizard-in-chief, who declared at a bank-sponsored tea party: “We’ve got this tiny new export-crypto mining. No, it’s not a typo. It’s a sneaky, invisible, hard-to-catch beast that’s messing with our crystal ball.” 🧙♂️🔮
Ah, the tragedy of Solana’s attempt to best $148, an epic of Sisyphean proportions. In a turn that bore the shades of Hamlet’s doubt, it stumbled beneath the revered $145 and $144 to wander mournfully into the short-term bearish abyss. The price whispers sweetly below the 23.6% Fib retracement level of its upward journey from $123’s demure swing low to the dizzying $147 height. This foray below the bullish trend line at support $144 upon the hourly stage was most unexpected, indeed.
Latest from the West, Base whispered into the ether on a crisp Thursday that its bridge-a digital footbridge of sorts-now arches securely across to Solana’s domain. It’s secured, one must note, by the sturdy chains of Chainlink’s Cross-Chain Interoperability Protocol. This, my friends, ensures that assets can traverse from one land to another without mishaps, a feat quite modern and unbelievably convenient, or so it seems.
The Fed’s favorite game: “Guess the Inflation Number”! Spoiler: it’s still way above 2%, because apparently, 55 months of missing the target is just… a warm-up. 🤢
Let’s face it, Bitcoin’s been acting like a grumpy teenager lately-all lower highs and lower lows. But hey, even grumpy teens have their moments of brilliance. The recent uptick has nudged BTC back toward its lower-high region, which is about as exciting as watching paint dry… unless it breaks out. Then, my friends, we might just have a party. 🎉
Thus, margin-based spot trading-once the exclusive vice of offshore renegades-was dragged kicking and screaming into the fluorescent-lit bureaucracy of U.S. derivatives markets. How very… civilized. 🎩
The institutional world, a place generally best avoided by anyone with a functioning sense of self-preservation, has decided it wants a piece of the Solana action. Franklin Templeton, custodians of a truly bewildering $1.6 trillion (that’s a lot of zeroes, folks 🤔), have announced the launch of the Franklin Solana ETF. Because, apparently, what the world really needs is another way to indirectly participate in the digital whims of the internet.
Ju, ever the chart wizard, whipped up a composite on-chain dashboard that looks like a traffic light on a bad day-mostly red. 🚦 He posted on X (formerly Twitter, because why not rename everything?): “Most Bitcoin on-chain indicators are bearish. Without macro liquidity, we enter a bear cycle.” Basically, it’s like trying to start a campfire with wet wood. 🔥💧
