Crypto.com has received conditional approval from the U.S. Office of the Comptroller of the Currency (OCC) to establish Foris Dax National Trust Bank to operate as Crypto.com National Trust Bank. This marks one of the company’s most significant regulatory milestones in the United States-right up there with inventing the concept of “digital assets.”
According to the communiqué sent down the digital streets, this ritual shall commence on the sixteenth day of February, at the crisp hour of six in the morning, in the unassuming realm of Coordinated Universal Time.
Ah, the irony! Centralized systems, those efficient tyrants, reign supreme. Faster, cheaper, and oh-so-reliable, they mock the blockchain’s lofty promises. Crypto, once a rebel, now kneels at the altar of finance, its ambitions trimmed like a hedge in a bourgeois garden.
What to know, dear reader, with a dash of sarcasm and a spoonful of despair:
As if to underscore his grim prophecy, Bitdeer-Singapore’s own digital Midas-has liquidated its entire Bitcoin treasury. The once-mighty hoard of 2,000 BTC, now reduced to zero, lies scattered like ashes in the wind. A single week, they sold 1,132.9 BTC, including every last mined coin. One imagines the executives clinking glasses over the ruins, toast to the alchemy of AI.
In the hushed corridors of modern finance, Michael Saylor’s enterprise, “Strategy,” embarks on yet another odyssey of digital gold, acquiring 592 BTC at a price that would make a medieval king blush-39.8 million dollars, a sum that could buy a small kingdom, or perhaps a few more coins. This latest venture, a testament to the … Read more
Armani Ferrante, the founder & CEO of Backpack and MadLab, announced on X that users who stake Backpack tokens for at least a year will be able to exchange them for a share of the company. In his post, he talked about his experience in crypto and the problems many tokens face with real-world use and value. One wonders if he’s addressing the issues or merely rebranding them as “challenges.”
In that peculiar moment, Bitcoin, the so‑called golden calf of our grids, slipped from its respectable $70,000‑high into the deep porches of the 64.5‑thousand gulf. It took a plunge of a full four‑grand in a mere hour, ice‑cold enough to extinguish hopes and freeze markets, here. Yet, like Hannah in one of Chekhov’s theatres, it stared at the drop, sighed, and clinked back up to a tidy $66,000‑plus, hardly more precious today than the indolent morning light.
Pre-market trading is like a game of Whack-a-Mole, showing signs of stabilization with bitcoin bouncing back to above $66,000 after a brief tumble to $64,400 on Sunday. It’s like watching a cat fall off a table only to land on its feet!
According to the ever-so-reliable crypto.news, Bitcoin-that bellwether of the digital age-has plummeted 5%, from a rather respectable $68,000 to a most unbecoming $64,435. Losing the $65,000 mark? How dreadfully embarrassing.