Cryptonews

Announced with all the fanfare of a cat walking across a keyboard, this donation aims to bolster the legal defenses of our two intrepid developers, who are currently embroiled in a legal tempest over allegations of facilitating money laundering. Because, of course, writing code is now apparently akin to robbing a bank with a rubber chicken. 🐔

In a filing that probably took longer to write than the average novel, Metaplanet revealed they’ll be issuing up to 555 million new shares. This will bump their total outstanding stock from 722 million to almost 1.27 billion. If you’re keeping score at home, that’s a lot of zeros. The share pricing will be decided sometime between September 9 and 11, 2025, with the settlement happening shortly after. It’s like a big, fancy game of “Let’s See How Much We Can Raise Before the Market Notices.”

The market sentiment, oh what a drama queen, sits neutral to bullish, with the Fear and Greed Index lounging at 46-neither trembling nor greedy, just… indifferent. Last weekend, BTC took a tumble from $117K to $109K, a fall as graceful as a drunk tightrope walker, and has yet to fully recover. 🪜💔

It all officially went down August 28, 2025, at the ungodly hour of 11:00 (UTC+8). No, I wasn’t awake. Allegedly, OKX did this because everyone’s obsessed with “asset efficiency” and “income generation”, which sounds way sexier than whatever my bank offers for keeping my cash in a mug.

In the grand theater of finance, the latest act involves a partnership so monumental-enough to make even the most jaded investor blink. A new “publicly traded CRO treasury,” valued at a staggering $6.42 billion, all under the auspices of the cheekily named MCGA-“Make CRO Great Again” (because what’s a crypto story without humor, right?).

Bitcoin Hyper is like a magic trick to fix Bitcoin’s performance problems. It’s Bitcoin’s official Layer-2 upgrade, aiming to break free from the ancient shackles of seven transactions per second (TPS). Because let’s be real-Bitcoin is stuck in the digital stone age.

The crypto powerhouse started its ascent by soaring to $4,845, and then-just like that-on August 24, it decided to rewrite history and reached a shiny new all-time high of $4,953. Oh, the things you can do when you’re Ethereum!

“It will provide standardized infrastructure for partners,” the developers declare with the enthusiasm of a door-to-door salesman. Meanwhile, behind the curtains, whispers of protocol upgrades and outages swirl like autumn leaves in a breeze-ready to disrupt the quiet order of things. One can’t help but wonder if this is a noble attempt to show off or just an elaborate dance of digital engineers trying to outwit the chaos of their own creation.

And get this – it’s giving off major Elon Musk vibes. Remember back in May when Musk switched his X profile name to “Kekius Maximus”? Ah, the memories. He got a lot of attention before pulling it down faster than you can say “Doge.” Well, Saylor’s trying to keep the meme alive, but he’s made it a *little* more classy (and by classy, we mean full-on toga vibes). 🤔

While a few altcoins have had their fleeting moments of glory in the past 24 hours, it is the native token of the Cronos ecosystem – CRO – that has truly captured the limelight, stealing the show with its extraordinary gains. Bravo! 👏