Cryptonews

In a tweet that could make even the most die-hard crypto nerd pause and say, “Wait, what?”, Vitalik urged developers to measure “overhead as a ratio” when assessing zero-knowledge (ZK) and fully homomorphic encryption (FHE) systems. Why? Because comparing operations per second is, apparently, a bit too pedestrian for Vitalik’s taste. According to him, a ratio reveals the true loss of computational efficiency when you switch from a traditional trust-based system to a fancy, cryptographic one. Seems like a good way to finally figure out how much pain you’re enduring for the sake of security.

CoinGlass says roughly $717.7 million in perpetual futures got the boot, with $372 million on BTC and $252 million on Ethereum (ETH). Nearly 290,000 traders were “rekt” as margin calls hit like a rogue mule in a china shop, turning order books into chaotic jumbles. 🛠️💥

These letters, or “nudges” as they are so charmingly called, are but gentle prods to encourage these digital daredevils to rectify their tax filings before the dreaded formal investigations commence. ‘Tis a clever strategy, non? 🎭

Here’s the kicker: this flaw, unearthed after the hilariously named “Milk Sad” incident (yes, you read that right, Milk Sad-sounds like a lactose-intolerant cow’s worst day 🐄😭), makes wallets vulnerable to brute-force attacks. Why? Because the library decided to use the Mersenne Twister-32 algorithm, which relies on system time as a seed. That’s like using a sundial to time a rocket launch-not exactly cutting-edge. ⏰🚀

Alas, the altcoins, those loyal companions in the digital realm, endured even greater chaos, their prices dwindling into the depths of financial despair like old soldiers caught in an indomitable storm. From Ethereum to Dogecoin, they enlisted in this great diminishment, echoing the soundless pleas of their devotees.

Short-term momentum? Gone! After failing to hold above $112k-$116k more times than a broken elevator, the price now wiggles between $104k-$107k (demand zone) and $120k-$124k (the “I-never-saw-you-before” resistance band). It’s like a dating app for charts-mutual swipes left! 😂

The dance of progress shuffles forward again. Payment rails spin faster than a poet’s thoughts on a sleepless night, and in marches the U.S. Federal Reserve, collar stiff, during the 2025 D.C. Fintech Week-because nothing says revolution like a man in a tie discussing blockchain in a Marriott ballroom. On October 16, Governor Michael S. Barr, philosopher of policy and keeper of the monetary flame, declared that stablecoins might just streamline the world’s financial heartbeat… if we don’t let them collapse like a bad metaphor.

Tether, in a move that left blockchain enthusiasts scratching their heads and AI agents nodding in approval, has rolled out an open-source Wallet Development Kit for humans, machines, and possibly sentient toasters.

Let’s be real, low demand and thinning bids turned that brief $110k bounce into a classic bull trap. The probability of a catastrophic plunge below $100k is getting more likely by the day. 🚨

Le vaillant président de Strike, Jack Mallers, en bon messager de la vérité – ou de la prophétie – affirme que la crise bancaire est une sorte de symphonie annonciatrice de troubles. En somme, Bitcoin chante déjà le refrain de l’imminence! Selon lui, la Réserve Fédérale, dans un élan d’hystérie monétaire, va bientôt ouvrir ses livres pour faire pleuvoir la monnaie, ce qui catapulterait le cours du Bitcoin vers des hauteurs vertigineuses. Que ne ferait-on pas pour voir un peu d’action? 😏