Assembly Bill 1052? Sounds like a red-tape smoothie. Avelino Valencia, our hero, just made sure your lost Bitcoin gets a “property of the state” stamp by June 2025. Because nothing says “trust us” like letting bureaucrats hold your crypto in a vault they control. 🤡
Our dear Tom, the head maestro of research at Fundstrat, has graced us with a forecast for 2026 that anticipates a tempestuous start, only to crescendo into a triumphant finale. Such flair! This revelation was shared during a CNBC interview, where one could almost hear the trumpets blaring. 🎺
Gate Group officially launches Gate Dubai! 🇦🇪
The opening days of 1926 (or 2026, as some insist on calling it) have witnessed a modest recovery amongst the larger, more substantial companies. A fleeting moment of optimism, driven no doubt by a general unease and the subsequent desperate search for…well, something. But one can’t help but wonder if this burst of energy is more a nervous twitch than a sustained stride.
Points to ponder, if one insists:
The price, like a lethargic bureaucrat, moved sideways for a day, yet whispered promises of future glory-or perhaps just indigestion. Who can say?
Rather than discuss policy (quelle horreur!), the Senate has opted for logistics-like a man balancing a teacup on a tilted chair. January’s slim window is their last hope before the “Senate Slow Mo Reversal Machine” activates, and Banking Committee Mr. Scott is forced to ask: Is this worth the drama, or should we just fold the table? 🎭
TD Cowen harbors hopes of legislative languidness giving way to progress this annum-but it’s akin to waiting for a bus and ending up on a horse and carriage. Scrolls of laws, embroiled in political dalliance, may only soar to action in 2029. Additionally, we’re tangled in ever-enthralling debates over potential conflicts of interest, particularly amongst those in high places dabbling in digital ducats.
Launched on December 5, 2025, Binance Junior is a “restricted sub-account” for ages 6-17, because nothing says “financial literacy” like letting your 8-year-old save in BTC. The account lets them request funds, earn interest on USDT, and send money to friends via Binance Pay. Because nothing bonds a family like crypto-based allowance disputes. 🤝💸
The old boy DOGE, the OG of meme coins, did touch a local high of over $0.15 before taking a slight breather. Now, it’s hovering near resistance, with traders craning their necks like eager spectators at a cricket match, waiting to see if it’s a follow-through or a pullback. 🏏