Cryptonews

Now, listen here: FTX, dead as a doornail and run by some clever lawyers with more paper than sense, thought it’d be mighty fine to sue Binance and its former head honcho for $1.7 billion. Their reasoning? They believe Sam Bankman-Fried shuffled cash around like a magician with a squirrel up his sleeve before the whole dog-and-pony show collapsed. CZ calls these claims nonsense so loud you could hear them across the Atlantic. 🚢

Bit Mining, a Bitcoin miner with the ambition of a steamboat captain, jumped on the bandwagon Tuesday with a $4.5 million splurge on 27,191 SOL. They even launched a validator to stake their chips-metaphorically, of course. (Though if they’re staking SOL like they’re staking poker chips, I reckon they’re in for a wild ride.)

“I think Bitcoin should really build upon this 120 before the end of the year; 200,000, maybe, 250,” Lee told Natalie Brunell on the Coin Stories podcast. Because why not aim for the stars when you’re already floating in the stratosphere? Last November, he already promised us a $250K Bitcoin in 12 months. Clear vision? Check. Confidence? Check. Slight risk of hyperinflation? Also check.

Dogecoin, that lovable meme coin, is hanging around the $0.20 mark – down over 3% in just a day. The past week? An elegant 10% slide after flirting with $0.28. Volume? A hefty $1.4 billion daily, because who doesn’t like a little chaos during coffee?

Dogecoin, ever the enigma, began its latest descent from the $0.2120 resistance zone, much to the chagrin of those who had hoped it would finally outshine its more serious counterparts, Bitcoin and Ethereum. Alas, DOGE saw fit to dip below both the $0.2050 and $0.20 support levels, proving once again that it’s not just about the memes but the market too.

Matt Hougan of Bitwise, blinking with disbelief, admitted he was “off guard,” pondering whether Atkins’ visionary words had already been priced into the chaotic ticker tape of the market or just lost in the noise. And let’s be honest-who wouldn’t want to throw a hefty chunk of their savings into crypto after hearing that speech? Or maybe even switch careers-“Hello, blockchain consultant, that’s my new identity.”

Launched in January 2024 with the fanfare of a Wildean soirée, Pump.fun, Solana’s [SOL] memecoin launchpad, recorded $24.96 million in revenue for July 2025-a staggering 80-82% drop from its January zenith of $130-137 million. Such a fall from grace would make even Dorian Gray blush. 😬

So, the Commodity Futures Trading Commission (CFTC) dropped this bombshell on Aug. 4, saying they’re gonna start figuring out how to let spot crypto asset contracts hang out on federally regulated futures exchanges. Their official statement was basically, “We’re kicking off our crypto sprint, because the President’s Working Group told us to get our act together.” 🏃♂️💨

The shenanigans began at 6:07 am UTC when the active sequencer started lagging like a tortoise on a lazy Sunday afternoon. Enter Conductor, Base’s trusty-but-flawed system for managing sequencers, which gallantly switched to a backup. Alas, this “unhealthy mainnet sequencer” was still in its pajamas, metaphorically speaking, and utterly incapable of producing blocks. Base Build’s X account later confirmed this unfortunate mix-up, leaving users to twiddle their thumbs while the network sputtered. 😅

But fate, with a cruel smirk, turned the tide. XRP soared past his short position, racking up losses exceeding a staggering $650,000, all on a position worth roughly $18.6 million. Even Solana couldn’t resist the siren song of gains, adding insult to injury. Somewhere, the whale’s heart sank faster than his wallet.