Japan’s not just dipping its toes in the crypto pool; it’s doing a cannonball! 🏊♂️💥 They’re reclassifying 105 major cryptocurrencies as financial products (bye-bye, regulatory gray zone!) and slashing capital gains tax from a whopping 55% to a cool 20%. 🤑 That’s right, investors-your wallets just got a whole lot fatter! 🦵💸
BeInCrypto has taken a rather amusing jaunt through the crypto landscape, analyzing three meme coins that have soared like a well-fluffed soufflé but might soon face a most theatrical reversal come the second week of January.
This advance, my dear, was nothing short of a cabaret of higher lows, forming an upside continuation structure on the chart. Simply divine! 💃
Vitalik announced that zero-knowledge Ethereum Virtual Machines have reached “production-quality performance” – a term that, in the blockchain world, probably means “we’ve stopped crashing for now.” PeerDAS data-availability sampling is “live on mainnet,” which, if you’re not paying attention, sounds like a new streaming service for cat videos. 🐱🚀 He contrasted this with earlier peer-to-peer models like Bittorrent’s bandwidth-heavy, consensus-free design and Bitcoin’s consensus-only, low-bandwidth replication. Because nothing says “innovation” like comparing yourself to a 90s file-sharing protocol and a cryptocurrency that’s basically a digital gold rush. 🏴☠️
So, the crypto market’s up, but let’s not pop the champagne just yet. Bitcoin’s stability is the only thing keeping this party from turning into a funeral. Immediate downside risk? Reduced. But a breakout? Girl, please. We’re still in the “let’s see what happens” phase. 🥂→🤡
Santiment, those people who watch the digital flotsam and jetsam, have noted that the total value of all these… assets… increased by approximately 23%. Traders, rather than investing in, say, actual infrastructure or sensible shoes, have apparently piled back into ‘higher-risk’ tokens. Which is just another way of saying ‘things likely to go down in value’. But hey, who needs logic when you have hype?
In the grand scheme, demand remains as flat as a pancake-no fresh money flooding in, but rather a reshuffling of the old. Major stablecoin giants like Tether and Circle exhibit little sign of vigorous growth, which is about as exciting as watching paint dry. So, our dear market is just redistributing liquidity, rather than expanding it-how utterly thrilling! 💤
Alphractal’s charts, those hieroglyphs of finance, whisper a truth as old as time: sellers lead the tango here, their sweaty palms steering the embrace. Buy/sell deltas slant like a tipsy sundial, casting shadows on would-be rallies. Capital, that skittish deer, flees risk assets in unison-a herd mentality with all the grace of a stampede through a china shop.
Bitcoin, having found support above the $90,000 zone, hath embarked upon a fresh increase with a vigor most remarkable. It gained pace for a move above the $90,500 and $91,200 resistance levels, as though they were but mere trifles. Even the $92,000 mark was surpassed, and a new multi-week high was formed at $93,333. The price is now consolidating its gains, stable above the 23.6% Fib retracement level of the recent upward move from the $90,804 swing low to the $93,333 high. 🌟
In a twist worthy of a Bulgakov novel, Donald Trump, that eternal jester of geopolitics, proclaimed that his Delta Force minions had whisked away Nicolás Maduro and his consort, Cilia Flores, in a midnight raid near Caracas. The operation, as swift as a cat stealing cream, ended Maduro’s reign and sent shockwaves through the prediction markets. Polymarket traders, those modern-day soothsayers, cashed in on their long-shot bets, proving once again that in the circus of politics, the clowns often have the last laugh. 🤡💰
