Elon Musk‘s X is tightening the screws on spam, bots, and low-effort content like a parent trying to get their kid to clean their room. With these shiny new tools, conversations on the platform are set for a makeover that’ll make even Cinderella jealous!
WazirX had a productive March, starting with the release of a detailed guide on March 13th for its new crypto futures product. This product allows users to trade perpetual contracts in Indian Rupees (INR) with leverage up to 20 times the initial investment.
The tokens in question, those unfortunate souls destined for delisting, include Arena-Z (A2Z), a name that evokes visions of grand coliseums; the Ampleforth Governance Token (FORTH), which sounds rather like a noble knight but alas, is merely a fleeting mirage in this digital field; Hooked Protocol (HOOK), which seems to suggest a catch of some sort-perhaps a baited hook meant to ensnare unsuspecting investors; IDEX (IDEX), Loopring (LRC), Neutron (NTRN), Radiant Capital (RDNT), and Solar (SXP)-a veritable cast of characters doomed to exit stage left.
In a post on his X page, Alderoty maintained Ripple “always knew that XRP was not a security.” A sentiment so profound it might have been etched into the marble of the Supreme Court.
Bitcoin, the leading cryptocurrency, has risen slightly, gaining just 0.4% since midnight UTC. It recovered from a low of $73,500 and is now trying to find a new price floor, potentially setting the stage for a larger price increase.
Global digital asset firm GSR, which now seems to be a real estate company for crypto startups, announced the acquisition of Autonomous and Architech in New York on March 17, 2026. Let’s hope they remembered to pay rent this time. Autonomous will keep its name, probably because they’re terrified of change or maybe they just like the sound of their own branding. Architech, meanwhile, becomes GSR’s new Digital Asset Advisory division-because nothing screams ‘advice’ like a company name that sounds like a tech support call.
This strange marriage of new features and rampant scams unveils a fleeting chasm of vulnerability, a stage set for the grand performance of chaos as the platform juggles its spam defenses amidst the confusion.
Mark well, dear reader, Ethereum stands on the precipice of a revolution in transaction speed, thanks to the latest whimsy of its co-founder, Vitalik Buterin. He proclaims a new fast confirmation rule, a mechanism so bold it guarantees transactions shall not revert after but one slot, a fleeting 12 seconds.
The Ripple-linked XRP cryptocurrency has been categorized as a digital commodity, according to a historic joint interpretation issued by the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) and the Commodity Futures Trading Commission (CFTC) on March 17. The token has now definitely shed the “security” label that would plague it for years.
In a report that’s as scintillating as a gossip column, cybersecurity darlings Certik have revealed that Openclaw’s security is more hole than substance. Its reliance on “skill scanning” is, frankly, a joke-a feeble attempt to shield users from malicious third-party extensions. How très embarrassing!