Turkmenistan, the land of mandatory haircuts and state-approved happiness, has decided crypto is the next big thing. President Berdimuhamedov, aka “The Crypto Enthusiast Who Definitely Uses A Flip Phone,” passed a law to regulate the industry. Because when you think “blockchain innovation,” you think total state surveillance, right?
Turns out, this wasn’t your run-of-the-mill chart-driven shenanigan. Oh no. The real hero (or villain, depending on your portfolio) was slippage. Yes, slippage-the financial equivalent of tripping over your own feet but somehow landing on a pile of cash. CryptoQuant’s Maartunn (a name that sounds like a Nordic superhero) flagged a whopping 163 BTC in buy-side slippage. That’s right, 163 BTC. Or, in human terms, “a lot.” 💸🔍
“We can go higher,” he declared, as if Ethereum were a rocket ship and not a decentralized network. 🚀🌕 Just a day after the gas limit got a 33% boost from 45 million to 60 million, Sassano’s already eyeing a 3X increase in the next couple of years. Because, you know, why walk when you can sprint into the future? 🏃♂️💨
ETH’s monthly trading activity? More ups and downs than a polka dance at a circus! 🎪 Initially, it dipped like a sad clown into the $280-$380 billion range. But then-BOOM! Mid-year resurgence, baby! Volatility, institutional shenanigans, and macro shifts pushed the volume to a whopping $599 billion in August. That’s more liquidity than a pool party at Caesar’s palace! 🏊♂️💸
The so-called analysts, those seers of the digital age, are muttering darkly about bulls losing their grip and even hinting at a potential bear market. A bear market! As if we haven’t enough to worry about. Ethereum currently trades a rather ignominious 40% below its August zenith, and every upward twitch is greeted with the suspicion it deserves. The overall atmosphere remains… unsettled, to put it kindly. Honestly, it’s all rather tiresome.
Behold, the cryptocurrency has retested the gates of its ancient stronghold, scaling a height of $93,092 on Friday’s morn, only to retreat like a frightened hare. For weeks, it has lingered below $100,000, a ghost haunting the corridors of its former might. A week prior, it plunged beneath $90,000, reaching the nadir of $80,600-a seven-month low that would make even the stoudest of sages weep.
Yes, amidst the madness-volatility, market crashes, and the occasional existential crisis-this piece of blockchain metal, RLUSD, emerges triumphant, with a total combined supply of over 1.26 billion on Ethereum and XRPL. A marvel or a mirage? Who’s to say? But one thing’s certain: this stablecoin, issued by a “trustworthy” New York entity no less, isn’t just sitting idly. It’s on a mission-focused on compliance, maybe too compliance-aimed at attracting the serious money, the kind that whispers, “Yes, I trust this, and I trust regulation, and I really want my crypto to play nice.” 🎭
In a proclamation issued on the altar of social media this Friday, the Fusaka Upgrade vows to render Ethereum applications swifter, more secure, and-dare we say-almost as user-friendly as the apps mere mortals use daily. A bold claim, indeed! 🧐
Short-term price action shows FLOKI slowly recovering after an early sharp decline, like a hangover after a wild party. The token rebounded from the $0.0000470 to $0.0000480 zone before attempting an upward push. The structure on the 1-hour chart has shifted from volatile declines to the formation of consistent higher lows, hinting at improving sentiment among short-term participants. Despite this, price action near the $0.0000500 level shows clear rejection, suggesting that buyers are struggling to break through a nearby supply zone that has capped momentum. 🚧
Yet, my dear reader, let us not be blinded by such dazzling figures. For beneath this veneer of prosperity lurks a hurdle most vexing, one that might give even the most bullish of investors a moment’s pause. 🧐
