Cryptonews

The Core Team, ever the optimists, unveiled two announcements last week. First, they rebranded their testnet DEX and AMM with a grandiose pivot to PI-denominated liquidity pairs-a move that mirrors DeFi’s finest while probably doing little to fix the fact that no one actually wants to trade PI. The team claims this will reduce volatility, slippage, and manipulation. One might suspect these promises are as reliable as a snowman in July.

Some clever folks, like Paul Barron and Apex Crypto Consulting (seriously, these names sound like superhero alter egos), have taken a good look at XRP Ledger and concluded it’s basically the toddler version of the early internet. Remember TCP/IP? No? Well, it was that thing that made all those tiny little data packets go “wee!” across networks-kind of like digital tiny aliens hitching a ride to world domination. All thanks to some nerdy magic. Now, XRP claims it’s doing the same for your dollars, euros, and probably that weird currency from the moon we’re all joking about. 🌚

According to the ever-watchful Bubblemaps, Sun’s wallet has been frozen since September, when he allegedly spirited away $1 million worth of WLFI tokens to the centralized exchange HTX. A mere 4.9 million tokens, one might say, but enough to earn him a spot on the blacklist-a modern-day scarlet letter. 🕵️♂️⚖️

In an ever-so-illuminating post this Monday, CyrilXBT unveiled his latest findings. He suggests that Bitcoin is not merely floundering in a downtrend, but rather, it might just be forming a sturdy base-perhaps a cozy little nest where it can rest before soaring to new heights. Or maybe it’s just a mirage, who can say?

Last week, in a blog post that could rival the most riveting chapters of a Dostoevsky novel, Yala unveiled its first AI agent-Yala 2.0! This digital oracle aims to help participants uncover the elusive “fair value” opportunities lurking in the murky depths of prediction markets. The mission? To elevate predictive accuracy and usher in a new era of structured pricing systems, all guided by the whimsical whims of intelligent probabilistic tools. 🧙‍♂️📊

The Facts

Now, the cheeky culprit didn’t just waltz off into the sunset with their ill-gotten gains. Oh no! In a flash that would make even the fastest fox envious, this rascal swapped the stolen stablecoins for a whopping 757.6 ETH. Why, it was like watching a squirrel hoard acorns-quick and clever! 🐿️💨

Meanwhile, the long-term charts have been whispering tales of grandeur, hinting at past rallies with the seductive charm of a well-timed quip. Bitcoinsensus, that cheeky crypto analyst, dares to suggest Link might soon be gracing us with a $46 soiree. How very optimistic.

In a missive shared on the illustrious platform known as X, on this very day of December 23rd, Mr. Kevin expounded upon the necessity of reclaiming the aforementioned $0.138 on both three-day and weekly conclusions. Such an accomplishment would restore Dogecoin to its rightful place above the grand macro 0.382 Fibonacci retracement and the venerable 200-week simple moving average-a convergence he has deemed “a major positive.” One cannot help but admire the enthusiasm!

He speaks slow, like a man chewing over a tough steak, explaining how the economy’s got more leverage than a circus tightrope walker. “Bitcoin’s the equity crunch,” he mutters, “and those AI robots? They’re deflating faster than a punctured tire on a Tesla road trip. So unless Washington starts churning cash like a slot machine at a casino, we’re just tightening the noose.”