Tina Fey Tackles Crypto Taxes: “Hold My Latte” šŸµ

The legislation also gets practical with a new tax schedule for crypto miners and stakers. Instead of being taxed the moment they receive new tokens, they’ll only pay up when they actually sell the assets. This helps avoid those pesky bills on income that’s still just a twinkle in the blockchain’s eye. 🌟

SEC’s Secret Tokenized Stock Approvals Ruffle Wall Street Feathers šŸ¦†

The concern stems from reports that some crypto firms, including major exchanges, are seeking to launch tokenized versions of stocks using SEC no-action relief — a process where the agency agrees not to pursue enforcement without officially endorsing the activity. It’s like getting a wink and a nod from the principal without actually being called to the office.

Lummis’ Crypto Tax Overhaul: A Senate Sensation or a Budget Snub?

For U.S. users, every sat spent on groceries currently demands a capital-gain calculation. That’s insane for a network that can split a Bitcoin into 100 million units. The bill’s $300 buffer borrows from the existing foreign-currency exemption, acknowledging that nobody tracks penny-level FX gains when they swipe a Visa in Paris. šŸ·šŸŒ

SEC’s Delay Throws Grayscale Fund into Comic Limbo: Is Your Crypto Safe?

Here’s the lark: while the ever-diligent SEC staff initially gave GDLC the thumbs up (very hush-hush, not a vote in sight), the commissioners suddenly fancied a closer look, calling ā€œtime out!ā€ Faster than you can say ā€œred tape!ā€, Grayscale and the New York Stock Exchange were left hanging in suspense—a kind of bureaucratic cliffhanger, if you will.

Bitcoin ETF: The New BlackRock Cash Cow? šŸ¤‘

And you know what? Eric Balchunas, the senior ETF analyst at Bloomberg, isn’t exactly disagreeing. He pointed out that IBIT is already the third-highest revenue-generating ETF for the New York-headquartered giant, raking in a cool $191 million. šŸ¤‘

Bitcoin Shoots Past $110K After Saylor’s Maverick Tweet—Are We Destined for $150K Takeoff?

Currently, Bitcoin’s loitering just above $110,000 like someone who’s just remembered they left their Bentley in a no-parking zone. Only three weeks ago it had a (justifiable) existential crisis at $58K, but now it’s channeling its inner Brigitte Jones post-diary-resolution, bouncing up by nearly 90%. And where are we now? Through $108K resistance and flashing technical signals more bullish than a motivational poster in a WeWork kitchen (yes, ā€œLive, Laugh, Leverageā€).