On Friday, Bitcoin ETFs clawed back $238.4 million, a paltry sum compared to Thursday’s $903 million hemorrhage, but enough to make BlackRock’s IBIT gloat like a toddler with a lollipop. Smaller players like BITB and ARKB contributed their pittance, while GBTC, long the poster child for institutional failure, managed $61.5 million-a miracle akin to snow in the Sahara. ❄️
There are some most notable movers among the larger-cap alts, including WLFI and BCH, which have rocketed by double digits, while ZEC, that most unfortunate of coins, has headed in the opposite direction, much to the dismay of its holders. 📉
The broader cryptocurrency market has endured a month so dire, one might think it penned by Gogol himself! Double-digit declines have swept through like a plague, and XRP, alas, has not been spared. In the past week alone, its price plummeted more than 15%, briefly dipping below $1.90-a fall so dramatic, it could rival the antics of Akaky Akakievich’s overcoat. 🧥💸
This madcap rally hath captured the hearts (and wallets) of investors and crypto enthusiasts alike, making it the belle of the blockchain and AI ball. But pray tell, what sorcery doth drive this TRUST coin to such heights? 🧙♂️✨
And what, pray tell, does our financial sage intend to do with this sudden influx of capital? Why, invest it in two surgery centers and-of all things-a billboard business! Because nothing says “financial genius” like roadside advertisements and outpatient procedures. He anticipates, with the optimism of a man who has never met an Excel spreadsheet he didn’t like, some $27,500 in tax-free monthly cash flow by next year. One can almost hear the champagne corks popping in anticipation. 🍾
Two investments previously considered risky are now poised to become part of mainstream global finance.
Records? They’re breaking faster than a screen door in a hurricane. $18.1 billion in trades, 58,000 daily gamblers-er, users-logging in like moths to a decentralized flame. November’s projected $3.5 billion haul? Sounds like Wall Street’s fever dream. 💸
As of November 21, 2025, Ethereum clings to life near $2,845, having suffered a 10% weekly decline that left leveraged traders gasping. Coinglass’ liquidation dashboards gleefully reported $950 million in woe-a veritable feast for volatility. One might call it a “market correction,” but I prefer to think of it as a grand prix for panic. 🏁
All this chaos was triggered by a massive flash sale: 7.86 million tokens exchanged hands early Friday morning – a 224% spike! Yes, your eyes are not deceiving you; the market decided to panic on a scale that even reality TV would envy. That breach of the $4.33 support level was like watching a house of cards fall one by one, with technological precision, according to CoinDesk’s brilliant analysis.
Pal opened by questioning whether Zcash’s surge is “just a rotational circle jerk within crypto again or is this something meaningful?” Burniske responded by foregrounding his conflict of interest: “I’ve been deeply involved within the Zcash community, so I have some bias here.” He cited personal ties and formal work with the ecosystem – “I’m friends with Zoko [Wilcox] […] I sat on […] a grants board” – and recalled that in 2016 Zcash was “the most anticipated coin” and initially traded as “a better Bitcoin,” a narrative he said “is coming back now.” 🕵️♂️
