In a move that screams “why not?”, Spacecoin has partnered with World Liberty Financial (WLFI) to integrate DeFi payments into satellite internet. The collaboration involves a token swap, with WLFI’s USD1 stablecoin fueling the engine for payment and settlement services. Because nothing says “financial innovation” like sending cryptocurrency through the stratosphere.
Bitcoin, bless its volatile heart, decided it was back in charge of the crypto payment scene in 2025, boasting a whopping 22.1% of all activity. A study said so. Coingate. Very official. They’ve moved on from just accepting it at the till, you see. Businesses are actually… using it. Imagine.
As the crypto custodian goes public, Ondo rolls out the red carpet for on-chain access to BitGo shares. Beginning their courtship on January 22, Ondo and BitGo dazzled the New York Stock Exchange with their gravity-defying dance.
The crypto market’s in a mood, darling, and it’s not the good kind. Altcoins are sulking in the corner, bulls are puffing their chests but looking nervous, and everyone’s waiting for the other shoe to drop. Or maybe it’s a whale. A big, fat, Ethereum-hoarding whale. Speaking of which, CryptoQuant’s got its magnifying glass out, claiming ETH is cozying up to a “never broken” support line. Fancy that! A safety net woven by the tears of long-term accumulators. How quaint.
Elliptic’s meticulous blockchain sleuthing suggests the bank’s acquisition reached a Conservative figure of $507 million-a number they concede is “conservative” given their refusal to speculate on wallets they couldn’t trace with the certainty of a Victorian solicitor. Half this haul, according to whispers in the corridors of Hoboken, was funnelled through Emirati dirhams and public blockchains, a transactional Berlitz course in financial gymnastics. These USDT coins then slunk into local exchanges, trading the dignity of fiat for rial liquidity, a transaction not without its comedic frictions.
The tokens had originally emerged from the fiery depths of Binance near cycle highs-oh, those halcyon days!-and were then cast into the cold embrace of staking, where they froze in digital permafrost. Now, thawed and trembling, they return to the market at prices so low they would make a bankrupt alchemist weep. The result? A realization of loss exceeding $6.6 million. That’s not a loss, dear reader-that’s a small principality in the Balkans.
In what should have been a routine check, a staff member greets a suspicious website and fires off a slew of private key credentials into the virtual ether. One click and it’s gone, irrecoverable. You can’t just digitally rummage through the trash-it’s like a magician’s trick, you can’t pretend you deleted the trick.
But fear not, dear reader, for the bulls are armed with their most potent weapons: long-leveraged positions, favorable price action, and the unshakable belief that Chainlink is, in fact, a “top DeFi project.” Santiment, that ever-vigilant on-chain snoop, has declared Chainlink the winner in the thrilling “Who Can Push the Most Code?” competition. Truly, a victory for the ages.
For the first time, the firm’s preferred stocks ($8.36 billion, but who’s counting?) have surpassed its total convertible debt ($8.21 billion). It’s like watching a high-stakes poker game where everyone’s bluffing except Strategy, who’s quietly raking in the chips.
Recall, if you will, the halcyon days of Jan. 6, 2026. The Street, that purveyor of financial gossip, revealed that Dimon’s investment empire, alongside crypto darlings Gemini Trust Company and Crypto.com’s Foris Dax, injected millions into a pro-Trump PAC ahead of the 2026 midterms. Trump, of course, was not on the ballot-but then, when has relevance ever been a prerequisite for his theatrics?