Apparently, this is the UAE’s way of saying, “We’re not just sitting on our oil reserves, we’re sitting on future gold too.” The ADIC, an arm of Mubadala Investment Company (because, why not throw in a little royalty for flair), shared with Bloomberg that Bitcoin is, in their eyes, the “digital equivalent of gold.” Yeah, sure. Because digital things that can go from $125K to $90K in a week are totally the same thing. 😂
Around 11:20 AM UTC on November 18th, Cloudflare – a company that processes roughly 20% of all internet traffic – had a major outage. Its main systems were down for almost three hours.
Let’s start with the underdog: Shiba Inu. The chart’s not exactly throwing a rave party, but it’s not screaming “I’m done!” either. Sellers who thought they could send SHIB to the land of zero are now realizing they can’t even get the price to go lower than $0.000008. 🙃
U.S. District Judge Denise Cote, a figure of stern authority, handed down the 48-month sentence in the Southern District of New York after Hill pleaded guilty in July to conspiracy to operate an unlicensed money 🧠💰 transmitting business, a deal that dropped a broader money laundering conspiracy charge. Prosecutors, ever the vigilant guardians of justice, argued Hill and co-founder Keonne Rodriguez positioned Samourai Wallet’s privacy tools-particularly Whirlpool and Ricochet-as magnets for the criminal underworld, contributing to as much as $237 million in illicit-linked transactions moving through the platform. While Rodriguez received the full five-year maximum on Nov. 6, the judge said Hill’s age and a recent autism spectrum disorder diagnosis warranted a downward variance. 🦴🧠 The court also ordered the forfeiture of proceeds. 🏦💸
Wallets of the unverified remain frozen, like prisoners in a digital dungeon. Yet, they may yet reclaim their fortunes through WLFI’s help center-provided they survive the bureaucratic gauntlet. 🕵️♂️
After a labyrinth of regulatory filings and the feverish whispers of major fund issuers, the analysts-those modern-day prophets-now declare that the debut of the fabled ETF is but a breath away. The timeline, once shrouded in the fog of uncertainty, now glimmers with the clarity of a candle in a storm. All signs, like the stars aligning in a celestial joke, point to a launch window that could unfurl as early as Monday, a day that feels both impossibly near and eternally distant. 🕰️
This isn’t a one-day wonder either. Nope, it’s the fourth consecutive day of misery – wiping out any last week’s gains faster than you can say “buy the dip.” Apparently, traders have collectively decided it’s time to retreat, withdraw, and perhaps contemplate a career change. 🥴
Market sentiment? It’s about as cheerful as a dwarf with a hangover. Alex is in full despair mode, and retail investors are fleeing like ants from a dropped ice cream cone. But here’s the kicker: these are the moments when patient buyers-the ones who’ve read the fine print on Cardano’s long-cycle behavior-start licking their lips. 🤑💼 It’s like a fire sale in a dragon’s hoard, and the smart ones are grabbing their shopping carts. 🛒🔥
Larger spot orders and a 3.49 long ratio? Oh, how the bulls are frolicking in the fields of optimism! It’s as if they’ve discovered a hidden stash of honey and are now buzzing with bullish fervor. But let us not forget-even the sweetest honey can attract unwanted bees. 🐝
Spark’s latest move? Putting their mobile dreams on a little holiday-or perhaps a very long coffee break. “We’re not builders of consumer apps,” says MacPherson, busy putting all the eggs in his institutional basket, because retail is just too much of a circus. 🎪
