Audiera [BEAT], the token that’s been moonwalking up the charts, surged by a whopping 84% at press time. Its debut was just a month ago, which is roughly the lifespan of a mayfly, but with far more financial drama. This leap brought its total gains over the past 30 days to a mind-boggling 480%. 📈✨
So, Bitcoin, you couldn’t handle the $90k club, huh? Thought you were a high roller, but now you’re just rolling downhill. ⛰️💨 Spiked below $87k? Ouch, that’s gotta hurt. But hey, the bulls are still partying near $85k-probably sipping crypto-themed cocktails. 🍸🐂
Currently, BitMine’s ETH holdings stand at a whopping 3.97 million. With current prices fluctuating like a caffeinated squirrel, this means their Ethereum assets are valued around $12.2 billion. Their latest acquisition nudges them above the 3.2% ownership mark of Ethereum’s total supply. It’s like being a VIP member of an exclusive club, except this one has a bouncer who only lets in a select few.
Despite the theatrical sell-off, Bitcoin stubbornly remains above its, shall we say, ‘comfortable’ long-term base. A corrective leg, not a revolution! The two hundred-day moving average observes from a safe distance, unimpressed. The sellers, bless their frantic hearts, had their chance. A fleeting opportunity to reign supreme. But they…failed. A most curious outcome, wouldn’t you agree? It appears someone, somewhere, still desires this digital trinket.
Alex Thorn-not to be confused with any garden-variety Alex-dropped this remarkable analysis in Galaxy Research’s weekly brief on December 12, shortly before it made its way onto X like a viral cat video. In his manifesto, Thorn painted a picture of Tether as the unsung hero of the crypto universe, operating under the radar despite its massive presence. It seems even the most powerful firms can be wallflowers at the cosmic dance!
Zach Rector, the Sherlock Holmes of XRP analysis, recently dropped some “wisdom” on the Paul Barron Podcast. He tackled the burning question: Is XRP heading back to the $1 danger zone, or is that as likely as finding a vegan at a steakhouse? 🕵️♂️🥩
These developments are about as monumental as a well-cooked potato and have sparked investors to take a long, hard look at geopolitical risks across global markets-cryptocurrencies included, because why not throw a little chaos into the mix? 🎢
So, Michael Saylor-our favorite crypto cowboy with a penchant for billion-dollar buys-decided to drop around $980 million on Bitcoin. I mean, who needs a yacht when you can buy 671,268 BTC, right? But shockingly, instead of being greeted with confetti and champagne, the price took a nosedive. Classic! 🎉🤦♀️
The article, a masterpiece of misdirection, attempts to paint the SEC’s retreat from its crypto crusades as a tawdry tale of political favoritism. Garlinghouse, however, with the wit of a Wilde and the acumen of a modern-day oracle, declares it a necessary correction of Gary Gensler’s “illegal” and legally dubious enforcement strategy. 🧐⚖️
The crypto realm awoke to a storm of despair, with Bitcoin and its allies retreating like shy creatures after a weekend of wild adventures. Traders, armed with coffee and dread, faced the week’s first tempest. Selling, oh how it surged! A tradition as old as time itself, when liquidity returns and chaos reigns. 🌩️
