Crypto ATMs: They're Taking Our Money...and Our Dignity!

Crypto ATMs: They’re Taking Our Money…and Our Dignity!

North Dakota lawmakers are finally doing something about those darn crypto ATMs! They’re trying to protect us from those sneaky, sneaky scammers, like my Uncle Morty. Remember him? He invested all his life savings in “Dogecoin” and now he’s living in a shoebox, eating dog biscuits. Don’t let that happen to you! 😜

House Bill 1447, a bill so good, it’s practically a miracle, is gonna put a limit on crypto ATM withdrawals! You know, those machines that look like they came out of a sci-fi movie, but are actually a gateway to financial ruin. They’re gonna limit the withdrawals to $1,000 per day! Can you believe it? Imagine, a limit on your ability to lose all your money! 😲

The Department of Financial Institutions commissioner, Lisa Kruse, she’s a real go-getter, said they’re gonna make those crypto ATMs issue warning notices. You know, like, “Warning! This machine may take your money and your soul.” 🤣

The bill’s sponsor, a man named Steve Swiontek, who used to be the president of some bank, thinks these machines are a big problem. He calls them “a gateway for criminals.” He’s not wrong! They’re the gateway to financial doom! 👨‍💼

And get this, some group called the “American Association of Retired Persons” is supporting this bill! Apparently, they don’t want their members to lose all their money to crypto scams. They’re probably afraid they’ll have to start selling their dentures. 👵👴

Of course, the crypto ATM companies aren’t happy about this. They’re saying these regulations will hurt their business. They say those high fees are just to cover the cost of, you know, the “hardware” and the “maintenance”. What they really mean is they need to buy more yachts. 🛥️

Look, here’s the bottom line: if you’re gonna use a crypto ATM, be careful! You’re literally playing Russian roulette with your money. And trust me, the odds are never in your favor. 💣

2025-01-23 07:15

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