Crypto Chaos: Senate Tries Again 🙄

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The United States Senate, in a burst of what one can only describe as optimistic naiveté, has unveiled a draft bill concerning these… digital assets. One presumes they’ve been warned about the volatility, though judging by their past performance, one wouldn’t bet on it.

The plan, as far as one can ascertain, involves granting slightly more authority to the Commodity Futures Trading Commission (CFTC) – a body, frankly, better known for its obscure regulatory pronouncements than actual market oversight. A brave, if slightly bewildering, decision.

Key Provisions Target Consumer Protection and a Vague Sense of Clarity

The draft, released on Monday with the solemnity usually reserved for state funerals, seeks to “protect consumers, ensure financial market stability, and allow US companies to thrive.” A laudable goal, naturally, though one suspects thriving will largely be limited to the lawyers involved. It arrives trailing after the House’s attempt, the CLARITY Act – a name dripping with overconfidence.

The core of this new legislative endeavor includes:

  • CFTC Oversight: A desperate attempt to define ‘digital commodities’ and bestow regulatory power upon the CFTC. One wonders if they’ve consulted a lexicographer.
  • Customer Safeguards: Mandating things like “customer fund segregation.” It’s reassuring, in a terribly modern, terribly complicated way.
  • Innovation Protection: Ostensibly safeguarding “self-custody” and innovative technology. One suspects this is code for “letting people make incredibly rash decisions on their own.”
  • Interagency Coordination: Requiring the CFTC and the SEC to talk to each other. A Herculean task, given their well-documented animosity.

Dual Oversight: A Solution to the SEC’s Petulance

The draft, with a touch of diplomatic skill, attempts to delineate which assets are ‘securities’ (and therefore the SEC’s concern) and which are merely ‘digital commodities’ (and – heavens preserve us – the CFTC’s). The result? A dual regulatory system. How very… American.

Senator Booker, that tireless champion of good governance, thundered on about protecting Americans from “bad actors.” One hopes he’s also protecting them from well-intentioned, but hopelessly out-of-touch, legislators.

Divisions Remain – As They Always Do

Predictably, disagreement lingers. Senator Booker, ever the pragmatist, admitted this is merely a “first step.” One suspects it’s a first step into a regulatory quagmire.

He expressed concern about “regulatory arbitrage” and, rather pointedly, the “ongoing corruption of public officials.” One doesn’t require Nostradamus to predict further scrutiny of the Trump family’s alleged entanglements with Binance. 🙄

Industry Yawns, Then Complains

Despite the unprecedented effort, delays are, alas, inevitable. It appears nobody can agree on anything, which is, frankly, par for the course.

Industry insiders, ever critical, have voiced reservations. Alex Thorn, Head of Firmwide Research, deemed it “great to see,” while simultaneously lamenting its “shortcomings.” Bill Hughes of Consensys detected a fatal flaw concerning “personal use” limitations. It seems nobody is entirely pleased, which, perhaps, is a sign of moderate success in Washington.

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2025-11-11 08:21