Oh, the drama! The DOJ’s crypto saga just got a Bridget Jones-worthy twist. This week, six Democratic senators basically told Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche, “Darling, you’ve got a ‘glaring conflict of interest’ that’s more obvious than Mark Darcy’s love for blue soup.” Why? Because ProPublica spilled the beans that Blanche was sitting on a crypto fortune-between $158k and $470k in Bitcoin, Ethereum, and Solana-when he signed the memo that basically said, “Let’s disband the National Cryptocurrency Enforcement Team and call it a day.”
- Blanche signed an ethics agreement in February 2025, pinky-swearing to divest within 90 days. But did he? Nope! He issued the memo in April, right before his Bitcoin went on a 34% joyride. Talk about timing!
- When he finally did divest, he didn’t sell-oh no! He just handed his crypto to his adult children and a grandchild. Ethics experts are like, “Technically legal, but seriously? That’s like giving your diet Coke to your mate and calling it quitting sugar.”
- Senators Warren, Hirono, Durbin, Whitehouse, Coons, and Blumenthal are now demanding answers by February 11. Meanwhile, the Campaign Legal Center filed a complaint faster than Bridget Jones can down a bottle of Chardonnay.
ProPublica’s deep dive reveals Blanche’s memo, cleverly titled Ending Regulation by Prosecution, didn’t just disband the NCET-it also halted Biden-era crypto investigations and cozy-ed up to Trump’s crypto crew. A DOJ spokesperson said everything was “cleared in advance,” but didn’t spill the tea on who did the clearing. The senators wrote to Blanche, “At the very least, you should’ve recused yourself. This is worse than wearing a reindeer jumper to a work party.”
DOJ Crypto: What Blanche’s Memo Actually Shut Down
The NCET, established in 2022, was the hero of the Binance investigation, scoring a $4.3 billion settlement. But Blanche’s memo was like a breakup text: “We’re focusing on immigration and procurement fraud now. Crypto? Not our problem unless it involves terrorists, drugs, or cartels.” Meanwhile, a 2026 Chainalysis report shows illicit crypto activity surged 162%. Oopsie!
The Divestiture Problem
Blanche’s family crypto transfer? Ethics experts are rolling their eyes harder than Bridget Jones at a singles’ mixer. The Campaign Legal Center pointed out that his family still held the assets, so his financial interest was basically just playing hide-and-seek. ProPublica crunched the numbers: his Bitcoin alone gained $105k during the memo drama. Nice work if you can get it!
What the Senators Demanded and What Comes Next
As crypto.news has been gossiping, this DOJ drama is now a plot twist in the CLARITY Act negotiations. Democrats want ethics rules tighter than Bridget’s skinny jeans to stop officials from profiting off crypto. Meanwhile, the Inspector General complaint is still open, and the DOJ is quieter than Mark Darcy after a fight. Stay tuned for the next episode of Crypto Chaos: The Government Edition!
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2026-04-09 21:44