Welcome, dear reader, to the Asia Pacific Morning Brief—where markets dance to the tune of chaos and crypto enthusiasts sip espresso while quoting Nietzsche. 🧠☕
Pray, sip your jade nectar (green tea, for the uninitiated) and marvel at this spectacle: Bitcoin’s dominance crumbled like a poorly baked soufflé, Japan’s politicians fumbled their crypto tax plans like a Shakespearean tragedy, and Jack Dorsey’s Block Inc. waltzed into the S&P 500 as if it were born wearing a tuxedo. 🎭📈
Bitcoin Dominance: A Tragic Romance with Altcoins 🥀💔
Bitcoin dominance, that once-proud monarch of the crypto realm, slumped below 60% like a Victorian widow at a masquerade ball. At 59.8%, it’s now the star of a Shakespearean soliloquy: “To reign or not to reign—that is the question.”
Ethereum, ever the ambitious understudy, pirouetted upward 4%, while XRP and Solana executed a cheeky 2% and 3% pas de deux. Bitcoin, nursing its ego (and a 1% loss), muttered, “I’m not irrelevant—I’m *vintage*.” Portfolio rebalancing? More like a digital asset divorce court. 🤝📉
Japan’s Election: A Political Soap Opera with Crypto Cameos 🎬🗳️
Japan’s Liberal Democratic Party—once as unshakable as Mount Fuji—stumbled into political quicksand. Losing their majority? How *dramatic*. Prime Minister Ishiba now faces resignation calls louder than a karaoke night in Tokyo. 🗽🎭
Digital Asset Policy: From 55% Tax Tyranny to 20% “Mercy” 🏛️💸
Opposition parties campaigned like crypto evangelists at a blockchain revival. The Japan Blockchain Association proposed slashing crypto taxes to 20.315%, because nothing says “trust us” like a government that can’t keep a majority but wants your Bitcoin. 🍣💸
Despite Japan’s 55% tax “donation,” it’s still the third-largest crypto market. Perhaps Satoshi Nakamoto was onto something when he said, “In a world of sheep, be a unicorn.” MetaPlanet, now a Bitcoin titan, would agree. 🦄📈
Block Inc: The S&P 500’s New Darling (Finally, a Crypto Cinderella Story!) 🎉👑
Jack Dorsey’s Block Inc. joins the S&P 500, proving that even corporate dinosaurs can evolve into Bitcoin butterflies. 🦋💼 Replacing Hess Corporation? How *poetic*—oil to crypto, like trading a horse-drawn carriage for a Tesla. 🚗⚡
Block’s treasury strategy? Buy Bitcoin, then buy more Bitcoin, then… open-source the chaos. 8,584 BTC later, they’re the Elon Musk of fintech—except they don’t tweet memes (yet). 🧠💸
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2025-07-21 05:36