If ever there was a display of political footwork more agile than a cat on a hot tin roof, it was US Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent appearing at the House Financial Services Committee on May 7. One might say the chap practically pirouetted through the script, voicing support for not one, but two crypto-flavoured bills shimmying their way through the august halls of Congress. 🎩
Bessent, looking rather comfortable in the spotlight (perhaps he’d rehearsed in front of the bathroom mirror?), responded to a burning question about whether the United States would gallantly outdo China in the international cryptographic arm-wrestling match. “We should be the premier destination for digital assets,” declared Bessent, eyes twinkling as if he’d just discovered a new brand of tonic water. He opined, with the air of a club man describing his favourite golf swing, that the right market tinkerings and a jolly good crack at stablecoin bylaws would, no doubt, see the stars and stripes hoisted atop Crypto Mount Olympus.
His remarks, echoing with the hearty confidence of someone who’s just snagged the last sausage roll at the club buffet, were in lockstep with both Republican lawmakers and President Donald Trump—who, in a fit of technophilic bravado common to campaign trial bluster, first vowed in 2024 to crown the US the “crypto capital of the world.” Old Bessent, evidently a Trump pick, seems to have earned his gold star for faithful sidekicking—showing up for every major crypto moment, from launching a sovereign wealth fund to sitting on working groups pondering stablecoins and, presumably, sipping weak tea. When asked if he’d support a central bank digital currency, Bessent was as enthusiastic as Jeeves with a blocked vacuum tube: “No dice while I’ve the keys to the Treasury,” you could almost hear him say. 🚫💵
Democrats stage memecoin dinner walkout—pass the popcorn! 🍿
Meanwhile, the Democratic contingent sniffed a whiff of “conflict of interest”—perhaps emanating from Trump’s exclusive memecoin dinner and VIP tour, which was either a masterstroke of populism or just a chance to score a free dessert (jury’s still out).
Chief rabble-rouser Maxine Waters led a positively Shakespearean walkout during the May 6 committee hearing—ostensibly, in protest of what she described as “Trump’s crypto corruption.” (Frankly, if there’s a stage, there should really be soliloquies.) Up in the Senate, nine Democrats solemnly declared they wouldn’t back the so-called GENIUS bill unless it came festooned with enough anti-money laundering, foreign issuer, and national security baubles to make it look like a Christmas goose at Blandings.
As to whether these Republican-birthed bills will see the light of legislative day, opinions are as divided as the dinner table after the last slice of steak-and-kidney pie disappears. Who will have the votes? Whose memecoin will reign supreme? Stay tuned—the next thrilling episode of Westminster, er, Washington awaits! 🧐
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2025-05-07 23:12