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Ah, behold the spectacle of the Crypto.com circus, where the ringmaster, one Kris Marszalek, finds himself under a torrent of tomatoes thrown by the very crowd he promised to serve. On March 19, this fine fellow took to X, chirping sweet nothings about financial stability while the very ground beneath him quivered with the uproar over a staggering 70 billion Cronos (CRO) tokens that were, quite miraculously, resurrected from the ashes of a $1 billion profit—talk about a magic trick!
One could almost hear the gasp of the audience as they realized the audacity! The 2021 token burn, that glorious firework display, has been extinguished, revealing a cold, hard reality. “So you made a profit, but needed to summon back 70 billion CRO instead of using your newfound riches? Fascinating,” remarked a particularly witty onlooker, eyebrows raised in disbelief. 🤑
“The largest token burn in history, or so they said…”
Back in February 2021, a now-forgotten scroll—a blog post, if you will—proclaimed the token burn as the largest in history, promising a fully decentralized network. “Trust us, dear community, we’re doing this for your own good,” they cried, burning 59.6 billion with a flourish worthy of a grand magician. But now, it appears, the audience was merely part of a larger act, and oh, how they booed! 🎭
Fast forward through the winding corridors of time—to March 2, 2025! The magicians, it seems, re-cast their spells, proposing to bring back the 70 billion CRO tokens, igniting a delightful uproar amongst the spectators online. “Reverse the burn? Oh, please, spare us the theatrics!” cried another netizen, rolling their eyes to the back of their head.
A grand performance of voting!
Onlookers had their popcorn at the ready as a heated vote flooded social media, with many champions of CRO declaring the re-issuance to be a tragicomedy of errors. “I hope people see through this farce; it’s a terrible idea!” exclaimed one voice amidst the clamor. 🍿
The finale came as the votes were tallied, surprising nearly everyone when the proposal emerged victorious. “Ah, yes, a little last-minute manipulation never hurt anybody,” quipped a GitHub commentator, throwing shade like a true skeptic. “The CDC is as centralized as one can be—where’s the real governance when a mere 70% holds all the power?”
And what’s this? The whispers of discontent grew louder. Laura Shin’s sources allegedly revealed that Crypto.com holds a staggering 70-80% of voting power—one might ask if there was ever really a vote to begin with! But fear not, dear audience! Marszalek has promised an ask-me-anything event on March 25, perhaps to clarify how the same magic wand could maintain stability while juggling so many flaming tokens. 🔮
As the audience awaits this next chapter, one must wonder, will there be roses or rotten eggs thrown at the stage? Onward we go into the maddening world of cryptocurrency, where fortunes are won and lost faster than one can say “decentralization!”
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2025-03-19 13:17