Crypto Craze: Broker Bows to White House Whims! 💰

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Interactive Brokers, darling of the tragically hip investor, has deigned to add the quartet of SOL, ADA, XRP, and DOGE to its trading platform. One shudders to think what Wilde would say! The listing, one supposes, brings the total number of tradeable cryptocurrencies on the platform to a staggering eight, as it—gasp—leans towards cryptocurrencies. One can only hope the platform survives such vulgarity. 🧐

Interactive Brokers, Inexplicably, Adds SOL, ADA, XRP, and DOGE

A little over a year after tentatively dipping its exquisitely manicured toes into the murky waters of cryptocurrencies, online brokerage Interactive Brokers has, with a flourish, increased the number of digital assets on its platform. According to a report (presumably penned by someone with a working knowledge of the 21st century), users of the brokerage will now be able to trade the native tokens of Solana, Cardano, Ripple, XRP, and Dogecoin. Heavens! The rabble are being given access to digital trinkets! 😲

The announcement brings the total number of cryptocurrencies on the platform to a dizzying eight, with Interactive Brokers, rather shockingly, turning its gaze beyond the stale bread of traditional finance. SOL, ADA, XRP, and DOGE will join an exclusive list of cryptocurrencies, including Bitcoin (BTC), Bitcoin Cash (BCH), Litecoin (LTC), and Ethereum (ETH). One can only hope the company has hired a sufficient number of analysts to tell them apart. 🙄

Customers of this top broker can now buy, sell, and hold cryptocurrencies in addition to the usual humdrum fare of stocks, bonds, and mutual funds. Users of Interactive Brokers with Zero Hash LLC will have access to the aforementioned quartet of cryptocurrencies, while those with Paxos Trust Co. accounts are, alas, limited to Solana and the first batch of cryptocurrencies. Some are more equal than others, it seems. How very Orwellian! 🤣

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“Adding these new tokens gives our clients even more flexibility to diversify their portfolios and take advantage of opportunities across digital assets,” said Steve Sanders, Interactive Brokers’ VP of Marketing and Product. Or, as I would translate, “we have succumbed to popular demand.” 🤷‍♀️

White House Interest, A Subject Worthy of a Farce, Stokes Interest In Cryptocurrencies

The addition of these four cryptocurrencies follows rising interest, rather suspiciously, by the US White House. In early March, President Donald Trump, a man never known for his restraint, disclosed plans to include the trio of SOL, ADA, and XRP into a Crypto Strategic Reserve. Oh, the irony! A man who couldn’t spell “blockchain” is now a crypto strategist. 🤦‍♂️

Following the creation of a Strategic Bitcoin Reserve and the accompanying Digital Asset Stockpile, experts (of dubious qualifications, I suspect) are tipping SOL, XRP, and ADA to form the bulk of the Stockpile. Ripple co-founder Brad Garlinghouse, a man who clearly has no vested interest in the matter, predicts XRP’s inclusion in the Digital Asset Stockpile, pointing to Trump’s post and his invitation to the White House Crypto Summit. A gathering of the clueless, no doubt. 🙊

Pundits say that the resolution of the Ripple SEC Case contributes to XRP’s inclusion in the Interactive Brokers platform. Meanwhile, Solana’s streak of institutional adoption, accentuated by BlackRock’s BUIDL Solana integration and Polymarket enabling SOL deposits, has played a key role in its inclusion. And so, the world marches on, towards a future of fluctuating fortunes and digital doodads. 🤪

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2025-03-26 23:24