So, the first quarter of 2025, huh? What a disaster. Ethereum, oy vey, it’s gone down the toilet 🚽. Gold, meanwhile, is having a party 🎉. Unbelievable.
Global markets are bracing? Bracing for what? More nonsense? Crypto investors are “wondering?” They should be panicking! Geopolitical events? Always an excuse.
Ethereum’s Loser Status vs. Gold’s Smug Victory
Q1 2025, the worst start for ETH ever? Of course. This van de Poppe guy, who is he, Nostradamus? Down 45%. I could have predicted that! Started at $3,200, now it’s garbage. Below $2,500. I’m telling you, a schmozzle.
Another 18.5% down THIS month? Are you kidding me? At $1,813, and almost 63% below its all-time high? Who even remembers that high? And year-on-year value, gone! Poof! Like that!
The short-term price action is “grim?” It’s a catastrophe! Down 14% in a week? Underperforming the “broader crypto market?” What a joke. And “thin liquidity?” Nobody wants it! Nobody! The demand is weaker than my coffee. ☕
Gold, though? Oh, they’re loving this. One of its strongest rallies in four decades? $3,128 per ounce? 20% gain? Since 1986? It’s like a Seinfeld rerun, always the same predictable plot.
Analysts blaming inflation and economic instability? Of course. Trump’s tariffs? “Liberation Day?” More like “Frustration Day!” on April 2nd.
Van de Poppe again? This guy is everywhere! “Gold is rallying due to uncertainties?” You don’t say! And he “suspects” ETH’s bottom will coincide with gold’s peak? He “suspects?” He has no idea!
“I don’t know where this will bottom, although I suspect that the peak of Gold and the bottom of Ethereum are going to be correlated.”
ETH/BTC Ratio Hits Rock Bottom. Fantastic.
Even worse against Bitcoin? Down to 0.02195? The lowest since June 2020? DeFi ecosystem was in its infancy? So what? It’s STILL a mess! 💩
On-chain data? A critical resistance zone between $2,200 and $2,580? 12.43 million wallets? Who cares? If it breaks out, it “could” trigger a short squeeze? “Could?” It probably won’t! The path of least resistance? Down, down, down!
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2025-03-31 18:39