Crypto King’s Downfall: Kidnapping, Torture, and a Bitcoin Password Gone Wrong!

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Well now, gather ’round, folks, for a tale that would make even the most seasoned riverboat gambler raise an eyebrow! Our protagonist, one John Woeltz, found himself in quite the pickle in the bustling streets of New York City this past Friday. This fella, once hailed as the “crypto king of Kentucky,” has been nabbed for allegedly kidnapping and torturing a poor soul all in the name of a Bitcoin password. Ain’t that a twist worthy of a dime novel? 🤔

Victim Escapes Torture In NYC

According to a report from the good folks at Fortune, our hero, 28-year-old Michael Valentino Teofrasto Carturan (try saying that three times fast!), managed to make a daring escape from Woeltz’s swanky NoLIta townhouse. Talk about a plot twist! 🏃‍♂️💨

Carturan flagged down a traffic agent like a sailor spotting land after a long voyage, and the police were alerted quicker than you can say “Bitcoin heist.” It seems our unfortunate friend had been held captive for a staggering three weeks in a 17-room mansion—now that’s what I call a long stay! Prosecutors are claiming that during his time in captivity, Woeltz and his partner in crime, William Duplessie, put Carturan through a veritable buffet of torture. 🍽️

Reports suggest he was pistol-whipped, shocked with a taser, forced to smoke crack cocaine, and even had his leg sawed at—now that’s a DIY project gone horribly wrong! Carturan also recounted a hair-raising experience of being dangled over a ledge at the top of a five-story building. I reckon that’s one way to get a new perspective on life! 😱

The whole mess began when Carturan, a business associate of Woeltz, dropped by the townhouse on May 6. Allegedly, Woeltz and Duplessie confiscated Carturan’s passport and gadgets, threatening him with violence unless he spilled the beans on the password to his Bitcoin wallet, which supposedly held a treasure trove of millions. 🏴‍☠️

Neither Woeltz nor Duplessie’s lawyers were quick to comment on this little escapade. However, court documents reveal that Woeltz is facing charges of kidnapping, assault, unlawful imprisonment, and criminal possession of a firearm. Sounds like a real winner, doesn’t he? 🎩

Rising Trend Of Bitcoin Kidnappings

Now, let’s take a gander at Woeltz’s background, which paints a picture as stark as a moonlit night. Growing up in Paducah, Kentucky, he set his sights on tech startups after graduating from the University of Kentucky. He waded into the cryptocurrency waters in 2018, where he made quite a splash as part of the winning team at the ETHGlobal San Francisco hackathon. After that, he became the managing director of Silicon River Capital, a blockchain investment fund. Quite the rise, wouldn’t you say? 🌟

In recent years, Woeltz had turned his attention to Bitcoin mining in Kentucky, even joining a state technology working group to integrate blockchain into public services. But alas, this incident shines a light on a troubling trend of violent kidnappings targeting the wealthy Bitcoin owners. Some folks are even looking into “wrench attack” insurance—named after a meme depicting bandits trying to bypass high-tech security with brute force. Now that’s a sign of the times! 🔧

As of this very moment, Bitcoin is trading at a cool $108,680, holding steady since Monday. Compared to its recent high of $111,800, it’s a tad below, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s still up 17% over the month. So, folks, keep your wallets close and your passwords closer! 💰

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2025-05-28 07:15