Crypto Lawsuits: When Memes Attack and NFTs Vanish 😱💸

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So, crypto is taking over the world, huh? 🌍✨ Well, guess what? The lawyers are taking over crypto. 💼⚖️ Class-action lawsuits are piling up faster than my unread emails, and let me tell you, it’s a mess. According to some fancy report from Cornerstone (yes, the same people who probably charge you $5 for a latte ☕), crypto firms are getting sued left and right. And no, it’s not just because they forgot to say “please” when asking for your money. 🤭

Apparently, the first half of 2025 has seen more lawsuits than a Real Housewives reunion. 💅 And these aren’t just your run-of-the-mill “he said, she said” cases. We’re talking securities violations, consumer protection issues, and even fraud. Oh, and did I mention a certain Argentine president got tangled up in this? 🇦🇷🤦‍♀️

Here’s a quick rundown of the crypto drama that’s making headlines (and probably giving CEOs nightmares 😴💔):

Bakkt: When Transparency Goes Out the Window 🕵️‍♀️

Bakkt, the crypto exchange that’s basically the middle child of the industry, is facing a lawsuit because they allegedly forgot to tell everyone about losing Bank of America and Webull as clients. 🤫 Oops? The plaintiffs are claiming a “73% loss in top-line revenue,” which is just a fancy way of saying, “Y’all messed up big time.” 💸💨

Coinbase: The Lawsuit Magnet 🧲

Coinbase is like that friend who always has drama. 🍿 In February, they got sued for not telling customers their assets could be part of a bankruptcy estate. Then, in May, they were hit with a biometric privacy lawsuit in Illinois because apparently, collecting faceprints is a no-no. 🤳 And let’s not forget the cybercriminals who bribed their support agents. 😬 Someone needs a better IT team.

Strategy: Bitcoin Maximalism Meets Legal Scrutiny 🔍

Michael Saylor’s Strategy (yes, the Bitcoin-obsessed company) got sued for allegedly making false statements about their profitability. 🤑 And this was right before they dropped $764.9 million on Bitcoin. Timing is everything, right? ⏰

LIBRA: When Memecoins Go Wrong 🤡

Remember LIBRA, the token backed by Argentina’s President Milei? 🇦🇷 Well, it crashed harder than my New Year’s resolutions, and now investors are suing for being “deceptive, manipulative, and fundamentally unfair.” Ouch. 😣

Pump.fun: The Memecoin Casino 🎰

Pump.fun is being accused of running a $5.5 billion “slot machine” scheme. 🎰 The plaintiffs say it’s a rigged game where early players win by dumping tokens on latecomers. Sounds like a crypto version of musical chairs. 🎶

Nike: The NFT Rug Pull Sneaker 🏃‍♀️💨

Nike shut down their NFT platform RTFKT, and now users are suing for $5 million, claiming it was a rug pull. 🏃‍♀️💨 I mean, who knew sneakers could be so scandalous? 👟

Legal Limbo: When Will It End? ⏳

These lawsuits take forever. Like, Binance has been fighting one since 2020, and it’s still not over. 🚀 And don’t even get me started on the FTX celebrity endorsement cases. 🌟 Meanwhile, the rest of us are just sitting here eating popcorn and waiting for the drama to unfold. 🍿

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2025-08-05 09:34