Crypto’s Mysterious Plunge: Even the Wise Are Perplexed 🧐💸

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Ah, the fickle dance of digital fortunes! As December’s chill set in, the crypto markets, once so buoyant, continued their somber waltz downward. Jeff Dorman, the sagacious CIO of Arca, penned a note that reads like a lament from a man who has gazed too long into the abyss of charts and graphs, only to find no answers. “Unexplained,” he calls it-a selloff that defies logic, even as the macro winds whisper sweet nothings of rate cuts and easing inflation. 🌪️📉

Crypto’s Fall: A Tragedy in Seven Acts (Weeks)

Behold, a spectacle most curious! While equities basked in the glow of November’s favor, crypto markets stood apart, like a brooding hero in a Turgenev novel, refusing to rally even as good news knocked at their door. Arca’s own Jeff Dorman, a man of numbers and sense, declared this behavior “makes little sense”-a phrase so mild, one wonders if he stifled a laugh or a tear. 😢📊

In his December elegy, “The Selling Nobody Can Explain,” Dorman dissects the paradox with the precision of a surgeon and the bewilderment of a philosopher. Seven weeks of decline, he notes, as inflation softened and rate-cut whispers grew to roars. Yet, crypto remained unmoved, like a stoic peasant in a Russian steppe, impervious to the world’s whims. 🌾❄️

He laments the divergence: equities rise, crypto falls. Sentiment-driven tokens plummet, while assets of substance-those with utility or financial gravitas-fail to hold their ground. “Where is the logic?” he seems to ask, though his words are kinder. Perhaps, he muses, the lines between TradFi and crypto have blurred, and unseen hands in traditional markets now tug at crypto’s strings. 🎭🤝

Enter Bill Ackman, the billionaire sage, who speaks of correlations between crypto and Fannie Mae-a pairing as odd as a nobleman marrying a peasant girl in a Turgenev tale. Dorman nods, acknowledging the strange dance of institutional portfolios, where crypto’s fate may now be tied to forces beyond its ken. 💃🕴️

And what of Tether, the stablecoin giant? S&P’s downgrade and whispers of its reserves-70% in cash, the rest in gold, bitcoin, and loans-have stirred fears. Yet Dorman waves them away with a dismissive hand. “Liquidity fears? Nonsense!” he declares, though one detects a hint of unease beneath his confidence. After all, even the wisest men doubt in the dead of night. 🌙💼

Perianne Boring, the Digital Chamber’s chieftain, echoed the collective bewilderment. “When even Dorman is stumped,” she tweeted, “something is amiss.” Coordinated, she suggests-a word that hangs in the air like an accusation. Dorman, ever the rationalist, replies with a list of refuted reasons: “MSTR isn’t selling, Tether isn’t insolvent, the Fed isn’t hawkish…” Yet, his conclusion is a shrug, a sigh, a “I still have no idea.” 🤷♂️🤦‍♀️

Even the yen carry trade-a theory as intricate as a Tolstoy plot-fails to convince him. “Japanese bond yields have risen for years,” he notes, dismissing it with a wave. “Nothing magical here.” And so, the mystery remains, a riddle wrapped in a blockchain, leaving even the wise to scratch their heads. 🧩🤔

FAQ ❓

  • What stirred Dorman’s perplexity?
    A selloff that ignored macro signals and rate-cut hopes, like a lover spurning a heartfelt plea. 💔📉
  • Why did Boring chime in?
    She smelled a rat-or perhaps a coordinated scheme-in the bearish winds. 🐀🕵️♀️
  • Did Dorman pinpoint the culprits?
    Cross-market flows, sentiment’s fickleness, and Tether’s shadow-yet none held up under scrutiny. 🕸️🔍
  • His final word?
    A sigh, a shrug, and a confession: “We’re all scratching our heads.” 🤷♂️🤦‍♂️

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2025-12-02 18:58