Oh brilliant, the crypto mood ring has gone from “diamond hands 💎✋🏼” to “please hold me”. Roughly two billion actual dollars have packed their emotional baggage and ghosted US Bitcoin and Ethereum ETFs in four days. Because apparently volatility tastes like instant regret.
Bitcoin ETFs: “It’s not you-it’s the entire market”
SoSoValue’s spreadsheets are screaming. US spot Bitcoin ETFs coughed up another $311.57 million on Aug. 20, pushing the four-day tally to “nearly one billion” (insert Dr. Evil pinky). IBIT, the BlackRock prodigy, saw a cool $220 million stroll out carrying 1,940 BTC in its tiny rucksack 🎒. ARKB followed with $76 mil, while FBTC and GBTC played modest with $7 mil and $8 mil respectively-like politely excusing yourself at someone’s wedding.
Ethereum ETFs: “Hold my 63,280 ETH”
Ethereum didn’t want to feel left out, so it shed $240 mil on the same Tuesday. That shoves the four-day bloodletting past $925 million. ETHA (BlackRock’s ether child) took the heaviest punch-$257 million, or about 63,280 ETH, which is apparently the second-worst day on the job since launch. Meanwhile, FETH and the adorable “mini” Grayscale ETF snuck in $17 million in inflows, like that couple who show up late, still drunk, but technically still present.
Sentiment: currently ‘read receipts left on delivered’ 📩
Traders are treating resistance levels the way most of us treat unread self-help emails. Both BTC and ETH have slipped, prompting suits to cut exposure faster than you swipe left on crypto-bros with laser eyes. Yet somehow both coins clawed back 2% overnight. Classic move: buy the dip while simultaneously panic-vomiting into the group chat.
Bottom line? The next few days decide if this is just the market taking a breather or the beginning of an extended “see ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya” phase. Either way, grab popcorn and maybe a therapist. 🍿
Standard adulting disclaimer: None of this is financial advice. I once bought a gym membership based on a meme, so please consult a real professional before mortgaging your Beanie Baby collection. ✌🏼
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2025-08-21 13:22