Doge Do It? ETF Hype So Real, It’s Practically Fetch! 🐶

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Alright, listen up, buttercups! Welcome to the US Crypto News Morning Briefing—your daily dose of crypto chaos, served with a side of sarcasm.

Grab your venti latte (extra foam, obviously) and let’s dive into why Dogecoin’s ETF dreams are suddenly hotter than a Kardashian tweet. We’ll also dissect why the Fed’s playing hard to get with interest rates is giving crypto the side-eye, and what Warren Buffett, CPI, and Bitcoin are whispering behind the market’s back. Spoiler alert: it involves a crash. ☕

Dogecoin in the Spotlight: ETF Mania is Sweeping the Nation (or at Least Crypto Twitter)

So, get this: 21Shares is teaming up with the House of Doge, like some kind of crypto reality show. They even got the Dogecoin Foundation’s blessing for a new Dogecoin ETP. It’s like the Oscars, but with more memes. 🎬

And just when you thought things couldn’t get weirder, the US Senate decided to crown Paul Atkins as SEC Chair. Suddenly, everyone’s yakking about a potential Dogecoin ETF. Is this real life? Is this just fantasy? 🤔

“A spot Dogecoin ETF isn’t about boring old fundamentals; it’s about unleashing the cultural beast! Sure, you can laugh it off, but retail investors are basically the cool kids driving this market. This ETF? It’s like giving crypto a VIP pass. From internet meme to Wall Street darling, it’s the ultimate glow-up.” – Mike Cahill, CEO at Douro Labs, dropping truth bombs on BeInCrypto.

Forget the techy stuff, it’s all about what the people want, says Cahill:

“With Paul Atkins at the SEC helm, expect a major vibe shift. He’s all about letting the market do its thing with minimal nagging. This could totally pave the way for a Dogecoin ETF. But let’s be real, Atkins’ job is bigger than just Dogecoin. It’s about the SEC finally treating digital assets like grown-up investments. About time, right?”

Enmanuel Cardozo, Market Analyst at Brickken, chimes in on what this SEC shake-up could mean for our favorite meme coin in the big leagues.

“Paul Atkins is practically a crypto OG. He’s been in the game for ages, and with Trump’s gang pushing the crypto agenda, things are looking up. Atkins could totally green-light this Dogecoin ETF, especially since Bitcoin and Ethereum ETFs already got the thumbs-up last year. It’s like, ‘If they can do it, why not Doge?'” – Cardozo spilled to BeInCrypto.

Atkins is basically crypto’s cool uncle, known for embracing the new and shiny.

“A Dogecoin ETF? Way more likely with Atkins in charge. He wants clear rules for crypto, which could make the SEC less of a buzzkill. Plus, they’ve got like a million other crypto ETF proposals on their desk. What’s one more, right?”

But Cardozo’s not getting ahead of himself. Momentum is building, but it’s not a done deal.

“Let’s not throw a parade just yet. Dogecoin, like all its crypto buddies, loves a good roller coaster ride. Regulators might get cold feet and worry about investors losing their shirts.”

Even with regulatory optimism, the economy is still throwing shade. The odds of a Fed rate cut in May are basically zero, thanks to Trump’s tariff drama and some grumpy FOMC minutes. 🙄

Those pesky policymakers are blaming inflation risks—especially from those darn tariffs—for keeping rates high.

This news is basically a wet blanket on crypto’s party, bringing down liquidity expectations and pumping up the dollar. Boo! 👎

Crypto Chart of the Day

The crystal ball says there’s a 64% chance the DOGE ETF gets approved in 2025. Place your bets, people! 🔮

Byte-Sized Alpha

– Keep your eyeballs glued to today’s CPI release. It’s the inflation report card that could make or break crypto’s day. 📈📉

– Warren Buffett’s Berkshire Hathaway is hoarding a record $334 billion in cash after ditching stocks before the impending 2025 apocalypse—still giving Bitcoin the cold shoulder despite everyone else jumping on the ETF bandwagon. 💰

– Trump’s tariff pause sparked a market rally and sent Bitcoin soaring past $80,000, but experts are whispering “dead cat bounce” before the next crash. 😾

– Bitcoin spot ETFs are having a rough week with $127 million in outflows, hinting that investors are losing faith—even though futures data is still throwing bullish vibes. 🤷‍♀️

– Paul Atkins is officially the new SEC chair, signaling a continued crypto crackdown rollback under the Trump regime. Buckle up! 🤠

– The SEC just gave the thumbs-up to options trading on BlackRock’s Ethereum ETF, making ETH more legit and liquid—even though everyone’s still obsessing over tariffs. ✨

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2025-04-10 16:58