Ethereum And Keyring Launch Legal Defense Fund For Tornado Cash Coders 😎💸

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Oh wow, the Ethereum Foundation and Keyring Network are teaming up to fund a legal defense for Tornado Cash devs… because apparently, being a hero with code isn’t enough. Kudos for turning lawyers into the villains we never asked for. 💸

This program is so *generous*, it’s funneling all protocol fees from Keyring’s “zero-knowledge, permissioned DeFi vaults”-which Explains Things™️-straight into the defense fund for Roman Storm and Alexey Pertsev. By September 10th, they’d already pulled in $22,109. Because $22K is the *perfect* amount of money to defend coders from “money laundering charges”…

Keyring’s vaults: 100x cooler than your standard “break the bank to stay compliant” 💸

Keyring Network is doing the whole “compliant financial tools” thing but also shouting that privacy is a *thing*. Because maybe the Ethereum blockchain isn’t meant to be a corporate surveillance dream. 🤯 (And yes, ETH is still $3K. Do you *really* think we’re using the market cap stats when we’re stealing crypto?)

Legal Battle: Open-Source Code vs. “Uh, That’s Illegal Now, Brady”

So, Tornado Cash is in the headlines because *gasp* the courts decided that creating a privacy tool isn’t allowed anymore. Roman and Alexey are being charged for… *checks notes*… letting criminals use their code? Because that’s obviously *their* fault, not the people who *used* it to money-launder. Duh.

The prosecution says they knew-because, how else do you make friends in the crypto world? And the defense says they’re just trying to give people privacy. But hey, congrats to Roman Storm for being “found guilty of illegal money transfer” in the US. Now the courts can play the “if it’s privacy, is it illegal? IF IT’S ILLEGAL, IS IT CRYPTOCURRENCY?” game of their lives.

This trial is basically the legal version of a choose-your-own-adventure book. If they win, privacy tools are saved! If they lose, crypto becomes the new landline. Either way, we need a fund because *nobody* wants devs rotting in jail for coding a privacy umbrella. 👒

Ethereum Foundation: Less Blockchain, More Legal Defense

Now the Ethereum Foundation is slinging protocol fees like Girl Scout cookies, turning random users into legal defense superheroes. They’re also matching donations because money inequality *obviously* isn’t a problem here. ✨

They claim this is a “blueprint for impact funding” but let’s be real-it’s just a fancy way of saying “don’t trust us with your money.” And yet, crypto people love trustless systems. It’s like trusting a lawyer – but in blockchain! 🎩

Industry leaders are all over this because “privacy tech” is the next big thing and nobody wants it to die in court. Probably. Unless, you know, compliance lawyers just take over the internet. These folks are just playing defense… because that’s what *good* coders do. ⚠️

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2025-10-11 06:50