Okay, darling, ETH to \$4K?! My Therapist Bills Are About to Get Paid! 🤑
Right, so, Crypto Bullet – yes, that’s his actual name, apparently 🙄 – reckons Ethereum could jump by, like, 38% soon. Apparently, the 50EMA (whatever the hell that is) is the only thing stopping it. But, spoiler alert, he thinks it might not stop it for long. A breakout, he says, is on the horizon. Ooh, get you, Nostradamus.
Ethereum Price Eyes 38% Jump To $3,500
In a post on X – because that’s where all the serious financial analysis happens these days, doesn’t it? – Crypto Bullet (still not over that name) predicted ETH could surge to \$3,500. All because it’s having a little tiff with the 50EMA. Apparently, this indicator thingy is the only thing holding it back from a “parabolic surge.” And, get this, he says breakouts *usually* result in a 38% pump. So precise. Almost like he’s…guessing.
And, get this, *NewsBTC* (very reliable source, I’m sure) says Crypto Bullet also predicted a rally to \$3,300 because of a “Morningstar Candle pattern.” Sounds legit. Anyway, apparently, ETH was facing resistance at \$2,500, but he *affirmed* it would be broken. Affirmed! Like he’s giving evidence in court.
Well, well, well, ETH *has* broken above \$2,500. So, maybe Crypto Bullet isn’t a *complete* tool. Based on his prediction, a rally to \$3,300 might be happening, which *could* lead to the \$3,500 target. He even commented on this momentous occasion on X. Bless.
He says ETH is trying to break the 200-day MA (more acronyms, joy) for the *fifth* time. Apparently, fifth time’s the charm? His chart – you know, the one with all the lines and squiggles that are supposed to mean something? – shows ETH *could* rally to \$4,000 if this breakout actually happens. If. Big if.
ETH About To Begin A New Bull Run
Now, Trader Tardigrade (these names are killing me 😂) is saying a new bull run is starting. Apparently, ETH’s daily candle closed above \$2,650. And opened above it today! Groundbreaking. He says ETH is moving above it now, which *signals* a new bull run. Subtle.
His chart shows ETH is breaking out of an ascending triangle. Ooh, fancy. This *could* send it above \$3,000. Mikybull Crypto (I can’t make this up) also declared ETH’s breakout will be *huge*. But it’s still maintaining its current range. So, huge, but not really?
Right now, it’s Tuesday, June 10, 2025, and ETH is trading at around \$2,670, up over 7% in the last 24 hours, according to CoinMarketCap. So, you know, maybe put your life savings in it. Or, you know, maybe don’t. 🤷♀️
There you go. Hope that’s suitably cynical and amusing. Let me know if you need anything else, yeah? 😉
Read More
2025-06-10 18:08