If there’s one thing I’ve learned from years of awkward family dinners—besides that my sister thinks salad counts as a main course—it’s that everyone loves a good truce. So imagine the earth-shattering excitement in market land when the US and China decided to take a 90-day break from their mutual tariff slap-fight, thereby giving investors the kind of hope not seen since microwave popcorn.
The official word dropped on May 12. Cue dramatic music—or at least some celebratory airhorns. The White House practically beamed as they declared tariffs would dip to 10% starting May 14. That’s a 24% drop, which means absolutely nothing to someone who can’t calculate a restaurant tip, but sounds terrific if you’re heavily invested in both drama and Bitcoin.
US Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent, who looks like he’s never waited at an airport TSA checkpoint, flew all the way to Geneva to say, “Chill, we’re not breaking up,” during a press conference. He assured us that both nations wanted lots of trade, a little less “embargo,” and—dare I say it—a more balanced relationship. Like therapy, but for billionaires.
This sudden show of adult behavior had analysts—who I assume keep stress balls in their desk drawers for moments like this—sighing with relief. Aurelie Barthere of Nansen said the suspension of new tariffs should prevent a Fresh New Crisis™️ and maybe, just maybe, nudge those poor altcoins up to Bitcoin’s smug heights.
“Bitcoin is already flirting with its all-time highs,” Barthere told CryptoMoon, presumably while wearing sunglasses indoors. “Now altcoins, US stocks, and the Dollar Index (DXY) are getting ready to crash this exclusive party.”
She reminded us that Bitcoin, unlike my 401(k), is insulated from tariffs. Barthere also expects the US dollar to flex on the euro, Swiss franc, and yen, which is financial-speak for “the dollar’s got its groove back.”
Nansen once gave crypto and stocks a 70% chance of “finding their bottom” by June. Now, with this truce, those odds are slightly less dependent on Elon Musk’s next tweet.
Tax relief: Because Markets Like Free Stuff
Bitcoin, by the way, is only 4.8% away from its January 2025 all-time high of over $109,800. Basically, it’s like one more drink away from making questionable decisions on a Friday night—I mean, according to CryptoMoon Markets Pro.
“If we actually get a proper tax cut—none of this expiring nonsense, but the juicy stuff—then we could see risk assets blow right past those January highs,” Barthere added, clearly dreaming of champagne toasts at $150,000 Bitcoin.
“We’d need more than just a bandaid. Big, dramatic tax cuts for both income and corporations—think more ‘Oprah’s Favorite Things,’ less ‘Dollar Store Clearance Bin.’”
Rumor is that Bessent is eyeing a mid-July reveal for this mythical tax package. Will it happen? Who knows. The only thing analysts agree on is that if it does, the price charts will look like the world’s most expensive foam party. We’re talking calls for Bitcoin to hit $150,000, if a bull flag pattern pans out. (Insert your favorite bovine emoji.)
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2025-05-12 17:46