What an epoch! In St. Petersburg—ahem, sorry, on Wall Street—another titan joins the Ethereum masquerade. GameSquare, a company inscribed upon the holy Nasdaq itself (praise be to the auditors and SEC), now proclaims, “Yes, we too shall horde the sacred coins!”
On July 8, as the midday sun tormented secretaries and shareholders alike, an announcement rippled through the wires: GameSquare has hatched an Ethereum treasury stratagem, beginning with an eight million dollar rallying cry, artfully extracted from underwriters (whose nerves, presumably, are made of either titanium or vodka) and swiftly galloping towards the shimmering oasis of ETH yield ventures. 🏇✨
Ambition knows no bounds—the board, decked out in their finest existential ennui, has pledged up to $100 million to the Ethereum bazaar. Calm yourselves: disbursement shall be gradual, and the company has sworn not to spend its lunch money.
To further lubricate their financial escapade, GameSquare shook hands with those Swiss conjurers at Dialectic. The loot—excuse me, crypto assets—shall be managed by Medici, an automated yield platform, presumably operated by invisible monks or particularly shrewd marmots. 🧙♂️💸
The company’s illustrious helmsman, Justin Kenna, assures the masses this cunning deviation matches GameSquare’s shadowy presence in gaming, technology, and media. (Read: “If everyone else is gambling, why not us?”) Evidently, institutions everywhere are eyeing digital doubloons, cursing the paper that once bought them so little.
GameSquare isn’t the only player in this pantomime. Bit Digital—also Nasdaq-anointed—recently cast off its Bitcoin trappings and went full Ethereum. One imagines a room of executives, hurling bitcoins out the window and stuffing Ethernet cables with ETH instead. Meanwhile, SharpLink Gaming has ransacked every available corner for more ETH, securing its place as the world’s runner-up hoarder (a title once reserved for eccentric European nobility).
Faster than a Muscovite can say “bull market,” GameSquare’s share price careened upwards by 60%. Investors cheered, champagne flowed, and somewhere an analyst tried not to faint.
As these maneuvers send institutional hearts aflutter, ETH is trading at $2,625 (about the price of three bottles of vintage port and a suspiciously cheap dacha). Up 2.8% today, nearly 7% this week—no fireworks, but after recent misfortunes, even modest gains taste like caviar to starving speculators. 🥂
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2025-07-09 12:29