German Regulator Calls Bitcoin a Casino… and It’s Not a Joke! 💸

Mark Branson, the German regulator who probably thinks “digital” means “on a spreadsheet,” remains staunchly anti-Bitcoin despite the crypto’s impressive rise from “weird internet thing” to “legit investment.” 🎩

The fact that Bitcoin has gone mainstream doesn’t make it “sensible” – because clearly, nothing says “sensible” like a 10-year-old’s savings account. 🧠

Branson insists consumers should “know what they’re doing” when trading crypto. Spoiler: They’re probably doing it wrong. 😂

He’s comparing crypto to a casino, because nothing says “financial wisdom” like a game of chance. 🎰

Branson, who once led BaFin like a confused toddler with a clipboard, previously claimed Bitcoin is “popular with criminals” – because obviously, the only people who like privacy are gangsters. 🕵️♂️

The former bank manager wants Bitcoin regulated. Because nothing says “freedom” like a government license. 📜

Crypto Regulation in Germany

Germany’s MiCA framework is now the law, because nothing says “innovation” like a 2024 deadline. 🗓️

From December 2024, crypto firms must get a BaFin license. Or else… *dramatic pause* …they’ll be shut down. Because what could possibly go wrong? 🚫

BaFin’s new powers are as exciting as a tax audit. 🧾

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2025-09-04 18:49