How Strategy’s Billion-Dollar Bitcoin Dream Turned Out to Be a Bumpy Ride

If you thought the world was running out of ways to throw money at Bitcoin, think again. Michael Saylor, that charming guy who’s now practically synonymous with “buying Bitcoin like it’s going out of style,” decided to ramp up his company’s offering from a modest $250 million to a whopping $1 billion. Because, why not?

On June 5, 2025 (yes, still in the future—I have a crystal ball), Strategy—no, not the kind that helps you win at chess but the kind that’s apparently betting the farm on digital gold—priced its IPO of 11,764,700 shares. The shares? A cool $85 each, which is, frankly, probably less than what you’d spend on overpriced coffee during a hectic week. The company aims to net around $979.7 million — enough to buy several other planets, or at least a lot of Bitcoin.

And what will they do with all this shiny cash? Well, mainly, use it for “general corporate purposes”—a phrase so vague it’s practically a magic trick—and to supercharge their “growth plans.” (Translation: buy more Bitcoin, because who doesn’t enjoy a little financial gambling with a side of wild optimism?)

Honestly, it’s like watching a high-stakes poker game where everyone is convinced they’re about to hit the jackpot, or perhaps just blow all their chips and pretend it was part of the plan all along. Grab some popcorn, folks—this story’s just getting started. 🍿🚀

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2025-06-06 14:43