Krispy Kreme Employees’ Data Stolen—But Don’t Worry, Your Donuts Are Still Safe 🍩😅

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You may think cybercrime is complicated and glamorous—mysterious villains in hoodies, green code raining from the ceiling, and the fate of the free world hanging in the balance. In reality, sometimes it’s just one question: “Do you want fries with that data breach?”

Krispy Kreme, purveyor of rings of fried joy, found itself in the kind of sticky situation usually reserved for fingers glazed with sugar—not sensitive information. Yes, friends, the alarm bells are sounding across America! Hackers have pilfered the digital doughnut box and helped themselves to 161,676 names, Social Security numbers, and, for good measure, a few squiggly sprinkles such as driver’s licenses and account passwords. You know—just enough to open a new bank account and maybe even get a driver’s license in Boston under the name “Mr. Glazed O. Donut.”

According to the latest filing with the Maine Attorney General (whose job seems to have an oddly sugar-centric focus this week), Krispy Kreme’s illustrious systems were compromised by an “unknown actor”—which likely means it wasn’t Oscar-winning, but possibly very dramatic. The hackers didn’t just peek: they grabbed names, birthdates, license numbers, usernames and passwords, and all manner of personal numbers you definitely don’t want on a “2 for $2 Tuesday” special.

The list of what may have been nicked is so long it should have its own product line: signatures, biometric records, military IDs, medical records, and even alien registration numbers. (Apparently, Martians enjoy raspberry jam too.)

On November 29, 2024, someone noticed extra sprinkles where there shouldn’t have been. Krispy Kreme sprang to life like a donut rolling under the counter, calling in ‘leading cybersecurity experts’—a sort of Special Air Service for computer mishaps. They’ve poked, prodded, and pronounced: by May 22, 2025, yes, some data had gone walkabout, but no one’s bought a hovercraft or adopted a new identity as ‘Jelly Filled Johnson’—yet.

Krispy Kreme has since sent out their Famous Letters, which are better than the usual marketing emails only in the sense that they come with free credit monitoring (sadly, not free doughnuts). All while promising to upgrade security faster than inventing a new flavor.

Takeaways: Your cravings for circular pastry can continue. Your innermost details may be in the hands of someone deciding whether to steal your identity or sign you up for yet another streaming service. Either way, you have been warned.🍩

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2025-06-29 04:59