Market Jitters? Nasdaq Jumps 6% While Bitcoin Plans Its Moonwalk 🚀

The week closed like a dusty old book slammed shut—yet the S&P 500 and Nasdaq, those restless beasts, kept climbing as if the world’s troubles were just distant whispers. Trade talks twisted and tangled outside the window, but inside the market house, the music played on.

The S&P 500 tipped its hat with a gentle 0.5% rise, and the Nasdaq, cheeky as a California fox, trotted ahead by 0.9%. Meanwhile, the Dow Jones Industrial Average, like that cousin who always arrives late to the party, lagged, shedding a few points—47 of them, to be exact, or 0.1% if you want to be precise.

Alphabet, Google’s big parent bear, flexed its muscles by smashing first-quarter earnings estimates to bits—$90.23 billion in revenue and $2.81 per share earnings. The street wasn’t just nodding; it was almost dancing, despite expecting a mere $89.12 billion and $2.01 per share. Who knew numbers could move crowds like that?

Tesla, on the other hand, shot up like a bottle rocket nearing the Fourth of July, nearly 10% in gains. Their fearless skipper, Elon Musk, finally said goodbye to his shifty role with Dogecoin and let the Department of Transportation drop new self-driving rules, favoring Tesla’s next-gen chariots. Elon’s magic touch or just luck? Either way, the crowd cheered—perhaps with popcorn in hand.

A solid week

The S&P 500 bulled its way up over 4% in just a few days, while Nasdaq soared like it had wings, hitting over 6%. The Dow, though often the slow dance partner, still picked up steam with a solid 2% week. Meanwhile, Bitcoin—bless its volatile little heart—had its best week since last November and is dusting off its boots, ready to attempt that $100,000 dance floor again soon. Will it waltz or trip? Only time and tweets will tell.

Amid all this, investors rode the roller coaster of trade chatter—President Trump and his Chinese counterparts sending out mixed signals louder than a honky-tonk band. One moment a sweet promise of trade deals, the next a thumping bazooka of tariff threats. The only certainty is uncertainty, and the market just might be having the time of its life spinning in such dizzy chaos.

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2025-04-25 23:24

A solid week

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