Right-o! Here’s the Noël Coward-esque take on that Bitcoin brouhaha, fit for a sophisticated giggle:
Bitcoin to a Million? Darling, Don’t Be Absurd! 🤑
Oh, Mr. Michael Saylor of Strategy, bless his optimistic heart, declares the crypto winter a thing of the past. Bitcoin to a million, he says! One can only raise a perfectly sculpted eyebrow.
“Winter is not coming back,” he announced to Bloomberg, with the confidence of a man who’s just discovered a new cocktail. “We’re past that phase; if Bitcoin’s not going to zero, it’s going to $1 million.” Well, isn’t that a comforting binary?
And then there’s ARK Invest, darling, upping their “bull case” Bitcoin price target to a mere \$2.4 million by 2030. One does wonder what they’re putting in their tea these days. ☕
Once \$50M in daily Bitcoin is bought, the price must rise
Apparently, only 450 Bitcoins are up for grabs daily, a paltry \$50 million at the current market price. Mr. Saylor posits that if this sum is snapped up, the price simply must ascend. Oh, the simplicity of it all!
“If that \$50 million is bought, then the price has got to move up,” Saylor said. As if by magic! ✨
He further elucidates that public companies are gobbling up the “entire natural supply.” Good heavens, the feeding frenzy! Saylor’s own firm has amassed a tidy 582,000 Bitcoins since 2020, worth a cheeky \$63.85 billion. One shudders to think of the paperwork.
“At the current price level, it only takes \$50 million to turn the entire driveshaft of the crypto economy one turn.”
However, should Bitcoin actually surge to \$500,000 or even a million, Mr. Saylor foresees a “crashing down by about \$200,000 a coin.” Such drama! One might need a stiff drink to cope. 🍸
Trump and US backing crypto another big factor
Mr. Saylor assures us there’s ample evidence to support his all-or-nothing forecast. “You have all the evidence you need to determine that,” Saylor said. How very convenient.
He also mentions President Trump’s endorsement of Bitcoin, along with the support of various financial luminaries. And traditional banks are preparing Bitcoin custody services. The world is changing, one devastatingly volatile asset at a time.
“Bitcoin has gotten through its riskiest period; the accounting has been corrected,” Saylor said. Well, that’s a relief, isn’t it?
Though one mustn’t forget that Trump’s tariffs in February were blamed for Bitcoin’s rather precipitous 40% decline. Politics, darling, always a factor.
Finally, Mr. Saylor notes BlackRock and other ETF providers are buying up Bitcoin daily, along with entire nation states “coming into the space.” Pakistan, no less, is establishing a strategic Bitcoin reserve. One can only imagine the committee meetings.
JAN3 founder Samson Mow warns that the US risks being “front-run by Pakistan” if it doesn’t start hoarding Bitcoin. The sheer audacity! One must keep up, after all. 🙄
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2025-06-11 05:57