Michigan Lawmakers Go Crypto: Retirement Funds, Mining, and CBDCs—What Could Go Wrong?

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Oh, look at Michigan lawmakers, suddenly they’re all about crypto! Four bills—yeah, four, because apparently one or two just isn’t enough—covering everything from mining to retirement funds. Because when I think “safe retirement,” I definitely think “Bitcoin.” 🤑

So, Republican Bill Schuette drops House Bill 4510 on May 21. He wants the state treasurer—right now it’s Rachael Eubanks, but who knows, could be your Aunt Linda next year—to invest in cryptocurrencies. But not just any crypto, only the ones with a market cap over $250 million for the past year. So basically, Bitcoin and Ether. Sorry, Dogecoin fans. And get this: they have to hold it as an exchange-traded product. Because nothing says “secure” like putting your pension in something that sounds like a snack food.

And if you thought that was wild, back in February they tried to let the treasurer throw up to 10% of Michigan’s rainy day fund into crypto. Ten percent! Why not just put it all on red at the roulette table while you’re at it?

Next up, Bryan Posthumus (yes, that’s a real name) brings us HB 4511. This one says Michigan can’t ban crypto or make you get a license to hold it. Also, state officials can’t even say nice things about a federal CBDC. No memos, no official statements—nothing. If you’re a state official and you even whisper “CBDC,” you’re outta here! 🚫💸

Michigan to consider two crypto mining bills

Now for the mining crowd: HB 4512 lets Bitcoin miners set up shop at abandoned oil and gas sites. Because if there’s one thing Michigan needs, it’s more people hanging around deserted industrial wastelands with computers that sound like jet engines. A supervisor will check how much oil or gas is left, who last used the place, and how long it’s been gathering dust. Sounds like a dream job, right?

If you want in on this mining action, you’ve gotta show your paperwork, prove you know what you’re doing (good luck), and estimate your breakeven price. Because nothing says “profitable venture” like guessing how much money you’ll lose before you make a dime.

And finally, HB 4513 wants to make sure the tax man gets his cut from all this mining excitement. If you strike digital gold in Michigan’s abandoned oil fields, don’t forget Uncle Sam—or in this case, Uncle Michigan—wants his piece too. 💰

Would you like me to break down or explain any part of this for you?

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2025-05-23 04:40