Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive! Two brothers, Anton and James Peraire-Bueno, both educated at the illustrious MIT, find themselves embroiled in a most peculiar lawsuit, accusing them of pilfering a staggering sum of 25 million in cryptocurrency through a dastardly blockchain exploit in the year of our Lord 2023. These gentlemen, with all the subtlety of a French farce, now seek to shield their Google search history from the prying eyes of the court, lest it reveal their inquiries into “top crypto lawyers” and “wire fraud statute of limitations,” which they claim were mere acts of prudence and not admissions of guilt. 🕵️♂️🔍
On Friday, in the grand halls of Manhattan’s federal court, the brothers presented their case, arguing that their search history, devoid of context, holds no weight as evidence. One might almost believe they are attempting to protect the honor of their family name, rather than their own hides. 😂
U.S. District Judge Jessica G.L. Clarke, a lady of discernment and wit, must now decide if these post-crime searches indicate a guilty conscience or merely the wisdom of consulting legal counsel. It’s a conundrum worthy of Molière himself! 🤔🎭
But lo, the prosecutors insist that these searches are a clear sign of the defendants’ awareness of their misdeeds. The Peraire-Bueno brothers, however, stand firm, declaring that their actions were nothing more than a prudent step in navigating the murky waters of an ongoing investigation. 🌊).
The charges against the brothers are as grave as they are fantastical. Prosecutors allege that the duo, using their specialized skills and education, exploited Ethereum’s MEV-boost system in April 2023, intercepting private transactions and diverting 25 million in a mere 12 seconds. Should they be found guilty, they face the prospect of spending up to 20 years in the cozy confines of a federal penitentiary. 🏗️🔒
The indictment, a document as thick as a Dickens novel, details the various Google searches allegedly conducted by the brothers, including queries about “top crypto lawyers,” “how long is US statute of limitations,” and “money laundering statute of limitations.” It’s enough to make one wonder if they thought the internet was a private diary! 📚💻
Deputy Attorney General Lisa Monaco, with a flourish worthy of a stage villain, declared, “Unfortunately for the defendants, their alleged crimes were no match for the Department of Justice prosecutors and IRS agents, who unraveled this first-of-its-kind wire fraud and money laundering scheme.” It’s a tale that would make even Tartuffe blush! 🙈
In their quest for a fair trial, the Peraire-Bueno brothers have also requested the exclusion of several other pieces of evidence, including a screenshot from X (formerly known as Twitter) showing fake signatures, and news articles that paint them in a rather unflattering light. It seems they wish to preserve not only their freedom but also their reputations. 🎭🌟
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2025-08-26 16:37