Mon Dieu! Look who’s gone mad for digital coins—our very own province of New Hampshire, pushed on by Madame la Gouverneure Kelly Ayotte. On the fateful sixth of May, with a flourish as grand as a Parisian debutante, she signed House Bill 302, and lo, the vaults of the state shall soon clink not just with metal but with Bitcoin!
“New Hampshire is once again first in the Nation,” she proclaimed on X, as if X were Versailles and we all her attentive courtiers. “Just signed a new law allowing our state to invest in cryptocurrency and precious metals.” Ah, precious words for precious coins!
The law awakens in sixty days, granting our state ample time to brush up on blockchain and to desperately search for that fellow Satoshi’s first edition. By the by, Bitcoin has soared, vaulting from $94,000 to $97,500—a leap surely inspired not by political theater in New Hampshire, but some economic pantomime between America and China.
“First in the Nation!” cries New Hampshire, waving its digital scepter.
“Crypto and gold—they both glimmer, but only one is immune to tarnish in our political humidity!”
— Her Highness Kelly of Ayotte, via the Royal Scroll of X, May 6, 2025
5% For Bitcoin, 95% For Good Old Drama
Once upon a bleak January, HB 302 arrived on the political stage: authorizing the Treasurer (that most prudent spendthrift!) to dabble in Bitcoin and sundry assets whose market caps best the $500 billion mark. Alas, only Bitcoin receives the lucrative invitation—Ethereum still languishes at a mere $220 billion, much like a cousin excluded from the will.
The state’s crypto-betting is capped at a mere 5% (because, dear citizens, even folly must have limits). US-regulated custody, multisignature wallets managed with all the gravitas of holy relics, and exchange-traded products shall keep these assets from wandering off like a purse in a Parisian market.
Such legislation, they claim, is to “diversify reserves while keeping prudence and transparency”—words that always herald something delightfully uncertain!
“The Live Free or Die state is forging a new age of commerce!” chime the Republicans, their banners fluttering on X. “Liberty, or at least liquidity!”
The bill pirouettes from the Satoshi Action Policy playbook—six pro-Bitcoin laws, twenty bills nationwide. Has anyone checked their pockets for missing coins?
“The odds of a new Bitcoin reserve law popping up have just increased more than my uncle’s gambling debts,” quoth Dennis Porter, high priest of the Satoshi Action Fund.
State Reserve Race Scandal: New Hampshire dashes to crypto glory! Ayotte pens the future, and not in invisible ink.
— Bitcoin Laws (@Bitcoin_Laws), May 6, 2025
Florida Trips, Arizona Loses Its Wallet
Meanwhile, in the sun-baked lands of Florida, legislators yanked two crypto bills—like a would-be suitor who’s dropped his bouquet. House Bill 487 and Senate Bill 550? “Postponed and withdrawn”—possibly to a nice retirement home in Miami. Had they lived, Florida might have invested a wildly optimistic ten percent of its coffers into Bitcoin. Quel désastre!
In Arizona, the spirit of adventure faltered: Governor Katie Hobbs, suspicious of these “untested investments,” wielded her veto like an overcooked baguette, felling HB 1025 with a single, disapproving swipe. Another Bitcoin bill, HB 1371, staggers onward, though hope is as thin as my patience at a bad comedy.
Will more states join this merry blockchain ballet, or will Bitcoin sit alone at prom? Stay tuned, for in America, even the money is dramatic.
Read More
- Solo Leveling Season 3: What You NEED to Know!
- Oblivion Remastered: The Ultimate Race Guide & Tier List
- Rachel Zegler Claps Back at Critics While Ignoring Snow White Controversies!
- How to Get to Frostcrag Spire in Oblivion Remastered
- Bobby’s Shocking Demise
- Fantastic Four: First Steps Cast’s Surprising Best Roles and Streaming Guides!
- Oshi no Ko Season 3: Release Date, Cast, and What to Expect!
- Captain America: Brave New World’s Shocking Leader Design Change Explained!
- Gold Rate Forecast
- Meta launches ‘most capable openly available LLM to date’ rivalling GPT and Claude
2025-05-07 10:21