MSTR: A Tragedy in Five Acts (or Will Bitcoin Save This Drama? 🎭)

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Ah, MSTR, thou stock of folly! Trembleth at a “crucial support level,” though it falleth like a marionette dropped by a drunkard’s hand. The crypto rally, once a tempest, now simpereth like a jaded courtier. A plunge nigheth, and all for the price of a decent loaf of baguette! 🥐

  • The MSTR share, dear reader, hath plummeted with the grace of a goose in a hailstorm-its lowest since September 2024, or as I call it, “the season of despair.” 😢
  • Behold! Strategy, that mad alchemist, bought 13,627 Bitcoins for ~$1.25 billion. A bargain? Perhaps. A folly? Indubitably. 🤡
  • Technical analysis, that soothsayer of spreadsheets, whispereth: “More downside, mon ami. Pray for the moon.” 🌕

Strategy, once known as MicroStrategy, now tradeth at $157-a paltry sum compared to its July zenith. ‘Tis a 65% descent, dear friends, as if one had eaten 65% of their soufflé and then wept into it. 🥧

The stock droppeth Monday, as Bitcoin (BTC) retreateth to $90,000. And lo! The company announceth a Bitcoin hoard, as if claiming victory in a duel with a pocket watch. 🗡️

They acquired 13,627 coins for $1.25 billion, their total stash now 687,410 BTC. Valued at $62.5 billion, yet their market cap? A mere $45 billion! ‘Tis a financial comedy of errors, where assets outshine value like a turkey in a tuxedo. 🦃

Strategy bought 13,627 BTC for ~$1.25 billion. Now hodl 687,410 BTC. Michael Saylor, that modern-day Scrooge McDuck, quacketh into his gold. 🦆

Yet peril lingereth! The company diluteth investors with the enthusiasm of a jester tossing coals. Shares soar to 300 million, up from 77 million in 2021. Dilution, thy name is disaster! 🔥

MSTR’s short interest? A ballooning jest, now 10.23%-a crowd of skeptics larger than a Parisian opera house. 🎭

Technical Analysis: A Farce of Charts

The monthly chart showeth a descent from $456 to $157-a slide more dramatic than a Musketeer’s failed romance. The 50-month EMA, once a beacon, now danceth beneath the price like a jilted lover. 🕺

The Supertrend, that fickle friend, threateneth to turn red-a hue as ominous as a cardinal’s blush. The RSI, at 43, droopeth like a wilted rose. A descent to 30? Why, ’tis but a prelude to the finale of ruin! 🌹

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2026-01-12 19:41