PricPR

Years hence, as the valuation of Coinbase swelled to proportions both staggering and absurd, a certain Bradford Stephens, co-founder of Blockchain Capital, emerged from the shadows. In a missive both terse and tantalizing, he proposed to acquire half of Epstein’s stake, valuing it at a sum that would make Croesus himself raise an eyebrow. Fifteen million dollars, forsooth, compared to the paltry $3 million originally laid out. The correspondence, alas, dwells on the arcane mechanics of valuation, bereft of the color and drama one might hope for.

Cboe Global Markets is quietly strolling back into the binary-wager business, obviously compiling the kind of restrained enthusiasm that only a suits-and-cravats economy can muster when faced with on-chain prediction giants such as Polymarket. The Wall Street Journal says they’re “in discussions with retail brokerages to relaunch ‘all-or-nothing’ options contracts for individual investors that would vie with prediction markets,” quoting people familiar with the matter.

In the grand opera of cryptocurrency, where volatility is the libretto and rug pulls are the encore, Binance and its enigmatic maestro, Changpeng Zhao (CZ), have become the lead villains in a farce masquerading as a tragedy. One day, you’re sipping champagne on the blockchain’s Eiffel Tower; the next, you’re scrambling up a ladder made of collapsing stablecoins. Delightful.