Fintech Frenzy: JPMorgan Drowning in Data Requests & Jamie’s Crusade Against Crypto Chaos

Turns out, only a meager 13% of these requests were by actual customers wielding their right to buy a coffee or, more likely, to transfer a dollar or two. The rest? Probably some over-caffeinated tech startup trying to verify their latest fancy algorithm or, dare we say, spy. An insider’s memo—obtained (by someone, presumably not a ghost)—whispers the exasperation: “Aggregators are accessing customer data multiple times daily, even when their clients are blissfully unaware, perhaps napping or binge-watching cat videos.” The bank’s systems were reportedly ‘massively taxed.’ Oh, the humanity! 💻💥





