Well, folks, it looks like the Trump administration’s latest “big idea” in national security is AI and quantum physics-because who needs crypto and blockchain? ✨🤪 But wait, wasn’t that the “wild west” of finance? Apparently, crypto is so last season, unlike their obsession with AI, biotech, and hyper-advanced tech that makes your toaster look like a supercomputer.
In a shocking plot twist, the strategy paper didn’t even mention crypto-not even a whisper, not a “maybe” or a “what if?” Just silence. Like Aunt Edna’s phone calls. 📱🔕 But hold on, folks! Did you catch Trump’s recent CBS interview? He’s still got crypto on the brain! He’s all, “We don’t want China to be the king of Bitcoin, or it’s back to the Stone Age for us!” Oh, he’s got big plans-big, shiny plans-like making sure all Bitcoin mining happens in the good ol’ USA. 🇺🇸💰
And wouldn’t you know it? CIA’s deputy boss Michael Ellis whispered that crypto is the “new frontier” and we better hold it tight-because apparently, China and their digital dragons are eyeing our digital gold. 🐉✨ But fear not! The document tossed a bone saying America wants to “lead” in digital finance-maybe a little crypto sprinkled in-who’s to say?
Trump’s Crypto Love Affair: Moving Fast & Breaking Things
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Trump’s team has been bustling around helping crypto, signing laws and executive orders, creating crypto task forces (sounds like a secret society, huh?), banning digital currencies from the central bank-because why not? They’ve even built a Bitcoin stash from seized digital loot-talk about “finding treasure in your digital attic.” 💎🖥️
But hold onto your hats, because markets are bouncing like a kangaroo on caffeine. Bitcoin, that fickle mistress, dipped below $90,000, while NATO’s asking everyone to cough up more dough-five percent of GDP-long story short, it’s gonna drive inflation like a runaway train. 🚂🔥
As for the Fed? They’re playing poker, whispering about interest rate cuts, hoping to make the markets swoon. It’s all a grand game, a dance of dollars-like a circus, but with more math and less clown suits.
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2025-12-08 06:23