In a world where the absurd meets the sublime, Vladimir Putin and Xi Jinping are concocting a scheme to launch a platform that promises to sprinkle investment initiatives like confetti under the BRICS-Global South banner. Details? Oh, they’ll be unveiled next month, just in time for the circus!
These two titans of industry, leaders of nations that could easily be mistaken for the cast of a geopolitical soap opera, are huddled together, plotting a platform that could attract capital like moths to a flame. Yuri Ushakov, Putin’s loyal aide since the days when flip phones were still a thing, has spilled the beans that the duo is in talks to unveil a BRICS investment platform. This platform aims to expand investment options for nations that are still figuring out how to tie their shoelaces.
According to the ever-reliable Ria Novosti, Ushakov proclaimed:
As we approach the BRICS summit in Rio de Janeiro this July, we will gather for a summit where the heads of state will discuss promoting Russian initiatives from last year’s BRICS summit in Kazan. These initiatives, dear friends, include a shiny new investment platform!
Ushakov, with a twinkle in his eye, added that this platform would “promote the economic growth of our countries and partners among representatives of the Global South.” Ah, the Global South! A place where dreams of deeper South-South integration are as common as stray cats in Moscow.
President Putin, ever the visionary, has been banging the drum for this alternative platform since last year, right after the BRICS summit in Kazan. In October, he declared that the time had come to “discuss the idea of creating our own platform to unlock the potential of our growing economies.” Because who doesn’t want to unlock potential like it’s a treasure chest in a pirate movie?
He emphasized the importance of alternative platforms as a funnel to direct funds to emerging markets, all while avoiding the meddling hands of third countries. Because, let’s face it, who needs extra guests at this party?
And let’s not forget the digital assets! Putin has referred to them as magical tools that would streamline investments focusing on the exotic lands of South Asia, Africa, and Latin America. Who knew investing could be so glamorous?
BRICS, the heavyweight champion of economic blocs, currently represents over 37% of the world’s GDP, growing at a rate of 4.4% year-over-year. It’s like watching a slow-motion train wreck, but with more spreadsheets and fewer injuries!
Read More
- Masters Toronto 2025: Everything You Need to Know
- We Loved Both of These Classic Sci-Fi Films (But They’re Pretty Much the Same Movie)
- ‘The budget card to beat right now’ — Radeon RX 9060 XT reviews are in, and it looks like a win for AMD
- Forza Horizon 5 Update Available Now, Includes Several PS5-Specific Fixes
- Street Fighter 6 Game-Key Card on Switch 2 is Considered to be a Digital Copy by Capcom
- Gold Rate Forecast
- Valorant Champions 2025: Paris Set to Host Esports’ Premier Event Across Two Iconic Venues
- The Lowdown on Labubu: What to Know About the Viral Toy
- Karate Kid: Legends Hits Important Global Box Office Milestone, Showing Promise Despite 59% RT Score
- Mario Kart World Sold More Than 780,000 Physical Copies in Japan in First Three Days
2025-06-20 11:57