Markets
What to know:
- JPMorgan crowned Riot Platforms “overweight,” while banishing IREN and CleanSpark to the shadows. 🕳️
- Citigroup joined the AI hype train, hoisting RIOT like a circus acrobat. 🎪
- HPC and AI cloud? The new golden goose eggs, with JPMorgan betting 50% on co-location love letters. 💌
Riot Platforms (RIOT) has been anointed by Wall Street’s fickle whims, as JPMorgan and Citigroup perform a synchronized upgrade ballet. All thanks to the alchemy of shifting industry economics and a pivot toward AI-because nothing says “future-proof” like trading bitcoins for neural networks. 🧠💸
JPMorgan bestowed Riot with the coveted “overweight” status, jacking its price target from $15 to $19, declaring it the “most attractive” mining peer. Citi, ever the follower, upgraded to “buy” and cranked its target to $24. Both firms gushed about AI and cloud services as the new profit elixir. Meanwhile, Riot’s stock dipped a meager 1.2% to $16.55-a performance so modest, it’s practically a yawn in a market circus. 🤡
In a twist of fate, JPMorgan cast IREN into the “underweight” abyss, sending shares plunging 9.7% Friday. CleanSpark, meanwhile, was neutered to “neutral,” tumbling 9.3%. One can only imagine the stock market’s version of a Shakespearean tragedy playing out. 🎭
Cipher Mining (CIFR) dodged the axe, its price target doubled to $12. Shares, however, stumbled 3.5% to $11.20-a far cry from its $6 nadir. MARA Holdings (MARA) kept its “overweight” crown but had its price target trimmed to $20, trading at $15.90 like a diva with a bad hair day. 💁♀️
JPMorgan’s analysts, armed with spreadsheets and caffeine, predict a 50% chance that Riot, Cipher, and IREN will secure HPC colocation deals. They’re valuing these contracts at $3.7M-$8.6M per MW, using Core Scientific’s 800 MW deal as a benchmark. Because nothing says “certainty” like betting on megawatts and math. ⚡📊
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2025-09-26 18:38