Roald Dahl’s Wacky Prediction: Trump’s Power Play & Bitcoin Chaos! 🚀⚡

Blimey! President Trump, the man with more hats than a clown factory, is planning a fiery little scheme called an “Emergency Power Auction.” Imagine tech giants bidding for shiny new power plants while Americans scratch their heads! 🤯

Yes, indeed, he’s trying to make electricity cheaper-though it’s about as subtle as a elephant in a teacup. This plan might cause a big blow-up in the cryptocurrency world and shake the whole economy – all just before the 2026 midterms, because of course it would! 🎩

What Is Trump’s Emergency Power Auction, Anyway?

According to the wise blabbermouths at Bloomberg, Trump, with a few governors (who probably wore their lucky socks), wants to persuade PJM- the giant electricity grid boss – to hold a power auction. It’s a bit like a bake sale but with electric volts instead of cookies. 🍪⚡

They’ll sign a “statement of principles,” which sounds fancy but is basically a get-together to plan some electricity magic. Trump’s crew and some state governors will nudge PJM into handing out long contracts – 15 years long! – to tech companies who’ll build new power plants, paying for them whether they use the juice or not. Imagine that! 💡

These tech giants are expected to splash out about $15 billion-more money than some small countries have-and build power plants that might be used for ages. The data centers in Virginia, the biggest pirate treasure chests of the internet, will be major players. Who needs pirates when you’ve got data? 🏴‍☠️

The Big Electricity Meltdown – Or Not?

The bigwigs say this auction is to tackle the rising cost of electricity, which is about as popular as broccoli at a birthday party. Instead of cheap fuel, Americans are facing higher bills, especially at home – thanks a lot, data centers! 🤑

In September 2025, electricity prices jumped higher than a giraffe on a pogo stick, up 7.4%, hitting 18.07 cents per kilowatt-hour. Older folks’ eyes are watering just thinking about it. And over the summer, prices shot up even more! 🌞💸

“The ongoing electricity crisis we are facing due to AI demand will only get worse without intervention,” muttered the wise folks at The Kobeissi Letter, probably while clutching a calculator.

Bitcoin Miners Get Shuffled in the Power Shuffle

Meanwhile, in the strange world of Bitcoin mining, it’s a game of musical chairs. Once, miners loved cheap power – now AI companies are grabbing all the best seats, locking in long-term contracts and saying, “Thanks, no thank you, Bitcoin!” 💻🤷‍♂️

In Texas, AI firms are gobbling up roughly three-quarters of all new power requests. That leaves Bitcoin miners like Galaxy Digital, CleanSpark, and IREN scrambling for crumbs, trying to stay afloat while AI gets the cozy corner. 🛋️

Even Bitfarms, the brave little miner from Washington, wants to switch gears and support AI – because, hey, who needs Bitcoin when you can have GPU parties instead? 🎉

“We believe that the conversion of just our Washington site to GPU-as-a-Service could produce more net income than mining Bitcoin – talk about a plot twist!” – Ben Gagnon, the CEO who definitely has a fancy title and a plan.

🛠 Bitcoin Today: A Miner’s Tale
Running 27 tiny ASIC devices, one hero makes a mere $4,800 a month (about 0.053 Bitcoin). After paying for electricity and hosting, he’s left with just over a thousand bucks – enough to buy a decent bicycle or a lifetime supply of honey. 🍯

– MonkeyPuppet (@MonkeyPupp) January 12, 2026

If Trump’s power auction actually cuts costs, Bitcoin miners could breathe a sigh of relief – or start dreaming of more profitable days. Power prices are the sword and shield of mining. The cheaper the juice, the fatter the profits! 💸✨

More electricity means fewer headaches and maybe even a window of opportunity for miners to stay in the game rather than switching to those AI monster farms that gobble up power like hungry wolves. But don’t hold your breath – this is a slow, long game, not a quick magic trick. 🧙‍♂️

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2026-01-16 10:02